Money is a thorny issue that pops up in just about every relationship , particularly when one partner makes significantly more than the other . Of course, this is exacerbated when one partner has a six-figure income and the other is working an unpaid internship.
This is exactly the situation a Reddit user found herself in after her boyfriend offered — and then reneged — to let her live with him for free.
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She doesn’t want to help her boyfriend with rent.
That doesn’t sound great, but context is everything. OP is 24 and works as an unpaid social work intern. Her 26-year-old boyfriend makes $200,000 a year and lives in a luxury condo in Manhattan that costs $5,000 per month.
She has zero income.
“My mom helps me financially by paying for my metrocard and healthcare expenses, but everything else I rely on loans.”
She goes on to say that when she had her own place, she’d stay at her boyfriend’s condo frequently due to a roach infestation at her place.
He suggested she move in when her lease was up.
She pointed out that she makes no money so they’d have to move to a cheaper place, but her boyfriend said he was fine with paying the full rent at his condo and have her move in.
She moved in. Then things changed.
“All of a sudden my boyfriend recently started asking me to pay half the rent ($2.5k/month),” she wrote. “I was confused because he was the one who wanted to pay the rent in full. Apparently he was talking to his friends and they all think its weird that I don’t pay rent and that I was a gold digger.”
OP dumped him and moved out.
After her boyfriend tried to get her to pay rent that she couldn’t afford, she dumped him, moved out and stayed with friends. She writes that she’s able to afford $800 a month in rent (thanks to her mom’s help) and is looking for a room in that price range.
Her boyfriend wants her back.
“He said that he was willing to accept $800/month instead of $2.5k/month if that’s all I can afford, but I told him I don’t want him changing his mind again and demanding more money from me in the future,” OP wrote.
He can afford his place just fine.
“Apparently some of our ‘mutual friends’ think I’m being unreasonable for moving out instead of talking to him and staying by paying the amount I can afford in rent, and that I shouldn’t have let him pay my portion of the rent,” she wrote, explaining that she’s since blocked him and his friends.
Is she in the right?
Perhaps it shouldn’t be too surprising, but most Redditors agreed that OP was not the jerk in this situation. Some pointed out that her (now ex) boyfriend’s actions are basically the definition of the old saying, “mess around and find out.”
What was his thought process?
“For real if he got convinced by his friends she’s a gold digger when HE was the one who insisted on you moving in without rent and suddenly asking for 2.5k/month?? He knows you have no source other than loans and did all this,” wrote a Redditor .
“He literally convinced you to move into his apartment, turning down your offers to find a cheaper place so you could contribute.”
“The fact that his friends see you as a gold digger and don’t appear to know the full story (the fact that you offered to pay and to find a cheaper place and he insisted otherwise) is also a red flag to me and makes me question how he talks about you to his friends,” continued the commenter .
This one’s an easy verdict.
Sometimes, there’s subtlety to the story of a couple’s money drama, but not in this case. Reddit was basically unanimous in telling OP that she was in the right.
Let us know if you agree in the comments section!
