There are many parents who have rules for their children to follow as they are growing up. Whatever rules they implement for their kids, sometimes, they try to implement them for other children who are in their house — like nieces, nephews, or their friend’s children, too. However, not all of the other children’s parents agree or like the rules that they push for.
One mom shared a predicament she is in with a friend through the popular forum “Mumsnet.”
The mom said that she has a good friend who they spend a lot of time with. Their families are pretty close and they tend to share meals at each other’s homes often.
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Her friend has a strict rule with her kids during meal time.
During meals, her kids have to clean their plate from dinner or they’re not allowed to have dessert, which is usually pudding. No matter what the meal is, if they don’t clear their plates, they don’t get dessert.
Whenever the Mumsnet user’s daughter is there, they also hold her to those rules.
The woman’s six-year-old daughter, who loves pudding, is also forced to clean her plate when eating at their house if she wants dessert. The mom shared she doesn’t have that rule in her own home and her daughter isn’t entirely happy about being forced to eat food she doesn’t want.
The big issue is also when her friend comes to her own home, she tries to keep the rule intact, too.
When her friend and her friend’s children come to the Mumsnet user’s home, she tries to have her children (and her six-year-old) still abide by the clean plate rule. The user said she told her friend she doesn’t implement that rule in their home.
Her friend felt it was “fair enough,” but also she didn’t want to change her ways.
“She said ‘fair enough’ but for the sake of making everything fair to her kids when they’re all eating together the rule has to apply — it’s not fair her kids have to do this while mine don’t,” she wrote.
The mom said she’s aware of her daughter’s diet.
Sharing with the forum, she said she tracks what her daughter has eaten throughout the day. The user explained she knows whether or not her daughter needs to eat more or has had enough.
She asked the forum if she was “wrong” for putting her foot down.
She asked the forum if she was wrong for saying that her daughter doesn’t have to abide by the “clean plate rule” in her own home, or in a restaurant. She said she would be fair and say, fine, at her friend’s house she would abide by the rule, but not in her own home.
Many agreed with the mom and said she’s 100% in the right.
“No one force feeds my children, you’re their mother and entirely capable of determining their nutritional needs. Are your kids a healthy weight, look healthy and active? Well, then, there’s your proof if so,” said one Mumsnet user in the comments.
Others said to avoid dinners together.
“I’d avoid sharing meals with them when either of you have kids around. I’m sure there are other activities you can all enjoy together but it doesn’t sound like eating family meals is one so for the sake of the friendship I’d just be unavailable for kids’ teatimes,” another said .
Or, change how much is on her daughter’s plate.
“The simple solution, just to keep everyone happy, is to only put half (or whatever you feel is an appropriate amount) on her plate when you’re dishing up. Can always offer her seconds when she clears her plate,” suggested another person .
Some people online felt the “clean plate rule” was toxic.
“I believe being forced to clear your plate leads to unhealthy relationships with food and struggles with being overweight. If you begin to get used to clearing entire portions when you’re not hungry, that becomes a habit,” shared user PaddleBoardingMomma .
