Couple sitting apart on train
NPR | HBO

Women Share Why They Aren't Interested In Getting Married

Marriage isn’t like it used to be. 

In addition to millennials getting married later than the generation before them, some are choosing not to get married at all. 

Call it the missing bride gene or something else. Or, you could hear from the women themselves. Here, they share why they aren't interested in getting married

They don't trust men

Couple sitting by water
Unsplash | freestocks

Plain and simple. Many women shared that they don't trust men not to cheat on them, leave them, or treat them like crap. Getting married would lead to a lot of worry about whether they've made the right choice.

It won't change anything

Dakota Johnson sitting at bar
IMBd | Universal

"For me it just doesn't make any difference. I'm not religious at all, and I believe that the relationship between me and my partner won't change with a piece of paper that we will sign. The only reason we might get married is because of tax benefits." - u/cornualpixie

They're too much of a mess

Women crying by bed
Unsplash | Claudia Wolff

In the mental sense, they mean. One woman wrote that if she was less of a mess, maybe she would be interested. But for now, she feels as though her boyfriend would get sick of her if he was obligated to see her personality every day.

They don't want to live with someone

Vince Vaughn playing games
Phil on Film | Paramount Pictures

"I have so much peace and freedom once I chose to be single and it's very hard to change that. Even if I really liked the person, the idea of having anyone in my space and my business all the time just stresses me out." - u/croptopweather

The wedding industry is a big ripoff

Wedding venue
Unsplash | Shardayyy Photography

Many women believe that a lot of money goes into an event celebrating a piece of paper. Flowers, alone, cost thousands of dollars. Just imagine the bill once you add in a venue, wedding dress, food, and entertainment.

They're not convinced it makes their life better

Phoebe from 'Friends' being free
Giphy | Friends

"I really do not understand why some women believe they were born to be a wife and that’s all there is to life. My happiness, success, and overall wellbeing in life does not derive from being in a legally bound relationship with someone." - u/conversehightops

They're afraid of commitment

Pinky promise
Unsplash | Womanizer Toys

Let's be real: marriage is one of the biggest commitments there is. If you're not feeling someone anymore, you can't just have a clean break. There are papers to sign, finances to potentially separate, and even more complications when kids are involved.

They don't know any good men

Woman saying, "where is he?"
Giphy | TV Land

"I can count the number of good men I know on one hand. Consistent let downs have lead me not to trust them for anything long term. They are unreliable and emotionally unintelligent." - u/Significant_Lion_112

It can ruin finances

Money on fire
Unsplash | Jp Valery

It's not surprising that children of divorce are more hesitant about marriage. One woman shared that she saw her dad ruin her mom financially when she left him. It was legal for him to take all of the money out of their joint account.

It's a legal contract that has roots in slavery

Woman saying she's divorced
Giphy | Slice

"Marriage in the past was the transfer of ownership over a woman from father to 'husband.' I'm not in the stone age anymore, I'm a liberated woman that is nobody's property." - u/npcgoat

They've heard too many marriage horror stories

Couple at altar
Unsplash | Luis Tosta

If you hear about a haunted house, are you likely to go inside? Nope. The same goes for marriage; a lot of people have seen and witnessed some terrible things that make them unlikely to walk down the aisle.

They don't care to "keep up with the Joneses"

White picket fence
Unsplash | Eric Ljung

"I don’t have a lot of money or family or friends, and I like the idea of our relationship being a choice that we make every day. Cementing it in stone just feels like some antiquated cultural thing. If he acts up I can just leave." - u/jogglepoggle

They're a lawyer

Female lawyer
Unsplash | Mateus Campos Felipe

Ever wondered why most doctors don't smoke? It's because they see, firsthand, what smoking can do. The same goes for lawyers and marriage; they see what a bad marriage and divorce can do to a person and steer clear.

They learned from their parents

Parents and child in Marriage Story
Vogue | Netflix

"I saw my parents' 30-year marriage. Then the 2-year protracted divorce process - while necessary - was even worse. My mom was the primary earner and primary parent in an abusive marriage. She walked away with about 25% of the marital assets after being cheated on." - u/deleted

50/50 isn't really 50/50

Couple holding hands and looking away
Unsplash | Andrik Langfield

As one woman wrote, "women still take on disproportionally more emotional labour and mental load." Men are still the ones more likely to work outside the home, be the financial provider, and do less of the chores.

They don't want their love to be rooted in a contract

Person signing contract
Unsplash | Romain Dancre

"I want it to be because when we wake up each morning, we choose each other. And when it gets difficult, we work together and get through it. I feel like being married changes your perception because there's a sense of obligation that comes with it." - u/Norythelittlebrie

They don't want to fix what isn't broken

Happy couple cooking
Unsplash | Becca Tapert

This is essentially the reason Goldie Hawn gave for not marrying Kurt Russell. They're happy as they are, so why ruin that? One Redditor shared the same sentiment, writing that they don't want to lose the spark and that their boyfriend is basically their husband.

There's too much paperwork

Couple sitting apart on train
NPR | HBO

"If the husband/wife runs up debt, you’re also on the hook for that debt. Husband/wife didn’t pay taxes, they can garnish your pay. I have an issue being in a position where I maybe liable for you should there be any." -u/geri73

They've already been married before

Wedding rings
Unsplash | Sandy Millar

"I am 33 and I have been married twice and I will never do it again! I will never let a man feel like they own me ever again. I have been with my current boyfriend for around 4 years and he understands this completely." - u/melissamarieeee

H/T: Reddit