People Share The Stupidest Reasons Cheaters Have Given For Cheating

Ashley Hunte
A paper heart that's torn in half.
Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema

One of the worst things that can happen to you while in a relationship is getting cheated on. No one deserves that to happen to them, and yet it happens all the time.

And some cheaters try to give excuses to justify their philandering. Redditors couldn't help but share the most ridiculous reasons their exes came up with for why they cheated.

How to get out of an exam, and a relationship, I guess.

A bouquet of various flowers.
Unsplash | Suhyeon Choi

"'My grandmother died.' I didn’t realize cheating on your girlfriend is the standard grieving method."

That's the exact thing professors tell you not to pull when you're trying to get out of a test. I feel like it doesn't work as well to justify cheating.

I mean, you can't just go off the grid like that.

A phone that's displaying the Facebook login screen.
Unsplash | Solen Feyissa

"'You deleted your Facebook, and my friend and I thought that was fishy.' I don't even know where to start with that kind of rationality..."

It's like these people have never heard of the word "logic."

A healthy, functioning relationship? Not on my watch!

Two people pretending to have an argument.
Unsplash | Afif Kusuma

"'We never have any fights.' So you decide to cheat so I can get mad at you??"

I guess some people just need to have that conflict in life. For the rest of us, not so much.

So, she had a home boyfriend and an away boyfriend.

A post secondary lecture room.
Unsplash | Shubham Sharan

"'When you said you wanted to be exclusive I thought you meant exclusive here. You never even asked if I had a boyfriend.'

"I had been 'dating' this girl for 3 months in college when she admitted that she had been in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend from high school the entire time and she had slept with him each time she visited her parents, which was at least once a month."

Oh, didn't you know? It's actually you're fault if you get cheated on (not really).

A man saying, "And whose fault is that?"
Giphy | CBC

"'If you had confidence in yourself, none of this would have happened.'"

I guess some people are just incapable of admitting when they mess up. Or maybe they genuinely don't think they've done anything wrong.

What's old is new again.

Two people having a conversation where one says, "That's old news," and the other says, "It's not old news."
Giphy | Gilmore Girls

"'I wanted to try something new.' He cheated on me with his ex."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but "wanting to try something new" sounds like something you'd communicate with your partner instead of just up and cheating.

Something, something, brotherly solidarity.

A man removing his wedding ring and then putting it on top of divorce papers.
Giphy | Hollyoaks

"His brother was going through a divorce and he was really upset."

His brother was going through a divorce, so he did something that would cause him to go through a breakup. Oh yeah, perfect logic right there.

Double life, double booked.

People in army uniforms marching in unison.
Unsplash | Filip Andrejevic

"A friend in a long-distance relationship who only saw his GF on weekends because she was at an army posting at the other end of the country [Germany] during the week - he found out she was cheating on him with some guy.

"Her explanation: 'Well, for me the army and my private life are two different lives, so it makes sense I have two different boyfriends.'"

Channeling their inner R&B artist.

A man saying, "I can't stand cheaters."
Giphy | Married At First Sight

"'My body was attracted to her but my soul is always yours.'"

I'm actually pretty sure that's a line from an R&B song that came out in the '90s, or maybe the 2000s. Like, it's too cheesy not to be one.

Actually, it's okay if I do it!

A woman saying, "Logic: they had none."
Giphy | Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

"'I just kind of assumed we were free to do our own thing when we weren't with each other.' - girl who kept telling me we were absolutely meant to be together and it would completely crush her if I ever cheated. Then when she cheated she said she didn't feel bad about it, so realized I probably wasn't the one."

Don't you hate it when you get mad at your partner and just *have* to cheat?

A man yelling into a payphone.
Unsplash | Alexandra Mirgheș

"One that I was told was 'I was mad.'"

You know, if your first reaction to being mad at your partner is to cheat out of spite, you shouldn't be in a relationship. Ever.

He really thought he was the good guy.

A man saying, "You owe me," menacingly.
Giphy | ABC Network

"'I knew her from school, we started catching up and I felt bad because she said she was suffering with mental health problems.' Apparently I should feel sorry for her, and he's a hero."

How do you maintain a good, healthy relationship?

A woman holding her head with both hands.
Giphy | HULU

"That they did it to take stress out so they could remain in their respective marriages."

Not like this. There are about a thousand ways to take stress out of your marriage. Therapy is a good start.

'Honey came in and she caught me red-handed creeping with the girl next door...'

A man sitting with two woman while saying, "It wasn't me."

"One of my clients came home to his GF in bed with another guy, she said 'it's not what it looks like.'"

This is just the reverse of that song, "It Wasn't Me!"

Gotta get one step ahead of the cheater.

A woman saying, "I knew this was gonna happen. I knew it."
Giphy | PeacockTV

"She's so hot and flirty that I just know she will eventually cheat on me. So I decided to go first and get it over with.'"

Ah yes, the old "I thought you'd cheat so I did it first" thing. As bad in real life as it is in fiction.

Uh oh! It was an accident, I swear!

A woman saying "oops!" sarcastically.
Giphy | Saturday Night Live

"'I didn't mean to.'"

Yeah, not buying it. I feel like it's pretty difficult, if not completely impossible, to cheat by accident. You either did it or you didn't, there's no middle ground.

I guess family is a pretty common excuse...?

Vin Diesel saying, "you don't turn your back on family."
Giphy | The Fast Saga

"'I'm going through a lot with my family at the minute.' I was shocked that was his explanation."

I will never understand what family has to do with people cheating. Just doesn't compute.

I guess you could say you've been warned.

The red M&M crossing his arms and saying "hmmmm, OK."
Giphy | M&M’S Chocolate

"'I invited you to join us, not my fault you said no.'"

I... literally don't even know what to say about that. Sounds like something only an incredibly trashy person would try to pull.

You know, breaking it off is always an option.

A woman saying, "It's not me, it's you."
Giphy | Molly Kate Kestner

"'I just found someone else I really like and she was closer.' Never again with these long-distance relationships."

It sounds like they should've just broken up to begin with. Would've saved a lot of time, that's for sure.

Sometimes you just need to know what you're capable of.

Olivia Rodrigo standing in front of fire and saying, "Good for you."
Giphy | Olivia Rodrigo

"I had an ex who told me he cheated on me just to prove to himself that he could do it."

There were a lot of dumb explanations in this list, but I think this one might be the dumbest. You almost have to laugh.