When it comes to marriage, one thing that can be difficult to navigate is the relationship between your mother-in-law and your partner. Having a mother-in-law can go one of two ways: really great or really horribly.
When you have a good mother-in-law, it’s awesome—you gain another mom. But, having a rude, judgmental, and mean mother-in-law can be a huge strain on your marriage. Especially, if your husband or wife agrees with them a lot .
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Many men grow up very close to their mothers.
We all know the term “momma’s boy” which is used to describe men who are super close with their mothers. Sometimes, this can be hard on a new woman who comes into their life. Many moms feel intimidated by the fact that their sons have another woman in their life outside of them.
And when your husband doesn’t have your back, it can be devastating.
If your husband is someone who is close with their mother and has her back over yours, his wife, it can be really challenging and even heartbreaking to see and cope with. Sometimes, we have no choice but to seek advice outside of our marriage.
One mom sought out advice after her MIL had made comments about her weight.
The mom started off by sharing that when she and her husband had gotten married, she was rather skinny. But, her body changed a bit and she was a size 10 right before she had children. Now, post-children, she’s around a size 14.
Her husband never had a problem with her weight.
Her husband never has said that he had “any problem with her weight,” and, she added that their sex life is totally fine. However, her MIL seems to have quite a problem with how much “weight she has gained.”
Whenever they are together, she makes jokes about her weight.
The mom shared that whenever her MIL is around she makes inappropriate and hurtful jokes about her weight and how much she has gained. Some of them are very cruel and she says them in front of others. Her husband actively laughs at the jokes.
She decided to confront him about laughing.
“I walked out and said to my husband that I feel hurt that he could ridicule my weight. His response -‘you’re being childish. It was a joke.’ I walked off upstairs and he said, ‘come on, you’re being silly. It was a [expletive] joke,'” she wrote.
Overall, the mom said she is upset that he did not stand up for her.
She said that she’s more hurt that instead of having her back and saying something to his mother, her husband would rather laugh at his own wife’s expense. If someone had made fun of his weight, she said she would stand up for him.
She asked other moms and wives if she was “being dramatic.”
She asked the Mumsnet users if she was in the right for being hurt and saying something to her husband for the way in which he reacted to the comments that were made about her weight.
Many said they would also be hurt.
The vast majority of users on the thread said that they would be very hurt and upset if their husbands had not stood up for them when someone made poor comments about their weight.
Some said she has to stand up to her MIL.
“If you can’t kick her out, next time she says something you need to stop whatever you’re doing, look her in the eye and say ‘why are you making horrible comments about my body?’ When she says only joking you reply that it’s not a joke because it’s not funny and you won’t put up with it,” one person said.
The mom shared later in the thread that she did speak to her MIL after all.
“She’s always constantly obsessed with weight and she was doing it in front of my 6 yo daughter and my daughter actually said to me “mummy I can’t wear that coat, it makes me look fat” !! I spoke with my MIL and said she was to stop as I don’t want my child thinking she looks anything other than beautiful,” she wrote.
Good for her!
