Although many people can recognize when their partners are engaging in weaponized incompetence, one marriage therapist is saying that the division of household labor doesn't have to be quite that one-sided to come up in couple's counseling.
For those who are unaware, weaponized or strategic incompetence describes behavior in which one person in a relationship intentionally does a household chore poorly so their partner won't ask them to do it again.
Through this behavior, they can not only ensure that their partner handles as much of the housework as possible but also create the impression that they would help more if only they were capable of doing so.
And while this is a common problem in marriages, it can often get lost in the shuffle of other issues because as some marriage therapists have found, it's surprisingly common for couples to put off serious discussions of other issues like money or whether they'll want children until after they're married.
Yet not only does housework eventually come up when couples do agree to counseling, but compatibility issues around it can be subtler than we might have expected.