Planning a wedding is stressful enough (I know something about that) without an outsider making things harder for you. But sadly, that’s the case for this one bride . Something tells me that once you hear this story, you’ll be quite shocked.
She has been putting up with her fiancé’s best friend, who’s making things a lot more difficult for the couple than they need to be. So check this out.
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A woman posted on Reddit’s AITA (Am I the Asshole?) thread asking for advice. Her story is quite unconventional. Here are some of the issues this bride is facing:
“My fiancé has had a female best friend since childhood. I’m not the person who gets jealous over my partner being friends with the opposite gender. What bothers me here is not the gender of the friend, but whether or not they’re able to respect boundaries.”
So what’s the problem?
“His female best friend, Rachel, has always been in competition with me regarding who’s more important and a bigger priority to my fiancé. At first, my fiancé failed to stand up to her, but after a small break, he realized the importance of boundaries and set hard boundaries with her. I know that whenever she sees me or hears about me, she’s not happy, but we act kind to each other despite our actual feelings.
When he proposed, Rachel didn’t congratulate us at all, completely overlooked our entire engagement, and kept referring to me as my fiancé’s ‘girlfriend.’ My fiancé kept correcting her each time, even telling her how she’s not funny or quirky doing this; she’s just disrespectful. After a certain point, she stopped.”
Wow, imagine that?
It gets worse, though.
“Now that we are planning our wedding, we picked out our groomsmen and bridesmaids. My fiancé has his female friend as one of his groomsmen. After my fiancé asked her to join that role, she texted me a lengthy paragraph.”
OMG, what did it say?
“To sum it up, it said: ‘Just so you know, your fiancé and I are still each other’s priority. You may marry him, have kids with him, [and] share a house with him, but right now, he picked me as a groomswoman knowing how that would bother you. He cares about not hurting my feelings more than your feelings. You can’t easily ruin friendships like that. Just stay in your lane and accept your place. You might be his wife, but I’m his best friend and, and I’m not going anywhere. Make peace with it and who knows, soon enough we might get along.'”
WTF?
This bride-to-be showed the message to her fiancé.
And this was his response: “I showed my fiancé. He said he’ll deal with her and I shouldn’t worry. I told him I’ve had enough and that the only solution I’m accepting is proper consequences for her actions. That means she’s either dropped as a groomswoman or uninvited. I’m tired of his best friend not having real consequences for her actions and getting her way. I won’t trust him enough to proceed with our wedding if he doesn’t set clear limits and make his friend face the consequences of her behavior. He said what I’m doing is very unfair because he is not responsible for her actions and feels like I’m putting unnecessary responsibility and pressure on him. AITA?”
So, she asked Reddit if she was the asshole in this situation.
And needless to say, most people were shocked. Not only did they say she wasn’t one but called out the fiancé’s best friend for being totally inappropriate. I say, it’s time to cut the ties with this one and I agree with what this person said about a similar situation.
Some people took issue with the fiancé.
Even though he isn’t technically responsible for this friend’s actions he is responsible for the consequences of such actions. This woman has been interfering with his relationship long enough and has caused too much unnecessary drama. He needs to stand up to her and put his wife-to-be where she needs to be — his top priority.
Others accused the fiancé of being in love with his friend.
OMG, I haven’t really thought of that. I mean, it would make sense since he hasn’t really taken too much hands-on approach to address this issue. There could be more to this story than we know.
So what’s your take on this story?
Who do you think is the asshole here? For starters, the fiancé’s friend is totally out of line. But then again, the fiancé should be doing something about it. If I were the bride, I would tell my husband-to-be to make sure his friend understands that from now on, I’m the priority in his life no matter how long these two have been friends. Period! If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to attend the wedding or even be in his life.
If he doesn’t do that then this bride has bigger issues. Am I right?
