I’m sure it’s the case with most people, but when I was a kid , I did plenty of embarrassing things. Some of them I can admit to, and others I’d like to bury deep inside my memories, hee-hee.
So I thought it would be fun to list the dumb things other people did or thought when they were kids. Check out these hilarious instances, and let me know if they resonate with you. Let’s go.
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This Hilarious Cat Story
“When I was really young, I was convinced I was pregnant (I’m a man btw), with a baby cat named Bridget. My family decided to see how long I would believe this so they never told me how ridiculously impossible that was. I went on believing it for about 5 months (that’s how long little me thought cat pregnancy lasted), and then when the baby never came, I went to my mom and asked when Bridget would be born, and she finally told me that boys can’t get pregnant and humans can’t give birth to cats. I was traumatized, little me was so excited to be a cat father, and then it was ripped away from me. I was such a stupid kid.”
OMG, that is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time, ha, ha.
This Tornado Fear
“I was very very young and I blame The Wizard of Oz but I believed that a tornado was just one big phenomenon that continuously happened and spun from state to state country to country. I also live in the south so we have frequent tornado warnings. I vaguely remember a time we had two or three warnings in one week and I was scared the ‘single tornado’ would come to our town and never go away.”
Aww, that poor child.
This Belief
“I was under the impression that there were tiny rats that lived inside of my stomach and when they ran in their wheels for exercise it would make me need to pee.”
“I also believed this! And when I got sick they would put on armor and fight the bad guys (germs).”
What? Two different people believed that. What are the odds of that?
This Party Pooper
“I remember watching the movie Cocoon with my grandparents. I could not have been more than 4. For some reason, I deduced that in order to become adults, children had to die in these pool cocoons and be reborn old. I freaked my cousins out and had a whole group of kids crying at a holiday party over our impending doom. Ruined Christmas pictures that year.”
Oh my goodness, I can’t stop laughing at that.
This Baby Story
“I always thought that kids were born with your [poop], so one day you would go to the toilet and take a dump and then if you looked down there would be a child. And I thought that if you didn’t check you might accidentally flush the baby.”
You know what, I think I remember thinking that once too, ha, ha.
This Dog Story
Aww, that’s so funny and sad. I hope somebody explained to this 7-year-old that his dog would play with him no matter what. That’s just how sweet dogs are. And now I miss my childhood dog, sob, sob.
This Confusing Perspective
“I was vaguely aware of a TV show called Ironside , about a lawyer in a wheelchair. Whenever I heard the word ‘paralegal,’ I thought it meant a paraplegic lawyer. It made sense to me that people in wheelchairs could make excellent lawyers, based on the nature of the job and their physical limitations.”
I can see how that reasoning would appeal to a kid.
This Funny Reasoning
“I thought paralegals were lawyers who’d parachute to the scene of a crime so people would have their story straight before the cops showed up. Like paratroopers.”
Ha, ha, I like that one even more than the previous one. How about you?
This Terrifying Thought
“I thought if you left a video game on then a character would come out of the TV and kill you. I was a bit paranoid as a small kid.”
Oh, no! And here I thought that the monster in the closet was the scariest thing of them all.
This Food Trauma
“I felt terrible as a kid to eat. I wouldn’t eat in front of people and every meal I would find myself thinking ‘poor food, getting eaten’ because I was convinced they had emotions.”
I hope this didn’t mess this person up as an adult giving them an unhealthy relationship with food.
This Marriage Mistake
“My Dad lost his wedding ring in the bay during a fishing trip. He’d lost weight, his hand was wet and probably fish slimy, and it just fell right off and was lost forever to the water. I was absolutely inconsolable. It took my parents quite a while to get me to calm down enough to be able to explain why I was so upset about it. I thought it meant they were no longer married anymore. Lol.”
Aww, that’s so sweet, huh?
This Special Thought
“I thought there were more men than women in the world because of the way people spoke about women like they were special, like ‘Wow kids, we’ve got a lady bus driver today.'”
Ah, that’s kind of sweet. Am I right?
This Bad Cheater
Ha, ha, truth be told, I was never that great at playing cards. Still, to this day, I pretty much suck at it. So at least this person tried. Well, that would teach him not to cheat again.
This Wild Chocolate Story
“This is a wild ride, folks. When I was a little girl, my grandpa told our family this story that he used to call ‘The Chocolate Head.’ He told us that he was born with a head encased in chocolate, and the doctors and nurses had to eat it off. Despite already being eaten, the reconstructed chocolate head floated back to him when he was a toddler, telling him, ‘Remember me? I’m the chocolate head!’
I remember looking all throughout my grandpa’s house to seek out this floating, talking replica of my grandpa’s head made out of chocolate. Now, my grandpa is on so many medications, he actually might believe his own story!”
Holy, moly!
This Tantrum
“I remember throwing a fit right before first grade started because I believed that the reason I was not a grown-up was because my parents wouldn’t let me. I had the idea in my head that everybody else from pre-school were now grown-ups and drove their cars and went to their jobs and I was still a kid because my parents were forcing me to be one.”
That’s so funny, no?
This Fake Story
“Apparently when I was about 6 or so, I told all my friends that my mum (who was never in my life) was eaten by a bear. I live in Australia, I’ve never seen a bear in my life.”
Aww, I bet that was just a way to cope with it, huh?
This Daily Ritual
“That when (without moving my head) I moved my eyeballs to look around, that meant anything behind me didn’t exist for that moment because it was just darkness. Only things that my eyes can see exist. If I turned around, the world would construct itself quickly, and the world behind me would disintegrate. I spent some time every day spinning around so the world would exist all the time.”
Whoa! Way to go to try to save the world.
This Secret
“I believed house cats/dogs could completely understand humans and therefore they could totally talk, too. Whenever I was alone with an animal I would ‘tell’ them that I knew they could talk and that if they ever talked to me I wouldn´t say a word to anyone.”
Wouldn’t that be cool if it were true?
Aww, we sure did a lot of dumb things as kids, huh?
But to be honest, I kind of miss that childhood innocence. Don’t you? Somehow as kids, we imagine the world so differently than it really is, and that keeps the magic going. I need some of that in my life. How about you?
