With the worst of the pandemic (hopefully) in our rearview mirror, people are slowly starting to return to the workplace . For those people who suffer from anxiety or are prone to being antisocial, that can feel like a nightmare.
So for the sake of laughing at one another’s pain in an attempt to find some sort of silver lining , have a look below and check out these 15 memes for us antisocial human beings that have me cracking up.
Do you wanna guess what my superpower is?
Whenever you don’t see or hear from me, that’s because I’m out patrolling the dark alleyways, fighting crime and saving lives. I’m a lot like Batman, just without the trust fund.
I’m never leaving this bed again.
These old bones aren’t what they once were, and the kind of emotional/physical output required to go hard on a Friday night comes at a high cost. Plus, my bed is just way too damn comfy.
…And even if they did, there’s still no guarantee.
In fairness, why would I? Friendship is a two-way street and if you can’t be bothered to celebrate me why should I bother pretending like I give a damn? Besides, any birthday over the age of 25 is pretty much redundant.
Don’t be rude.
Ugh. I hate hearing the question “Why are you so quiet?” Like, what the hell? I’d never be so rude to presume to ask you why you’re such a loud obnoxious ass. I do have manners, after all.
I’m only myself around those that know me.
In my worst bouts with imposter syndrome, I can actually convince myself that my best friends of 20-plus years are only pretending to like me. There’s absolutely no way I’m showing my true colors to a stranger.
I know it’s out of love…
I deserved it. I had it coming. They didn’t mean to. It’ll never happen again…These are all phrases that every cat-owner has told themself at one point or another. But no matter how much you might want to believe otherwise, rest assured — you will be hurt again .
I’m tired of getting shamed by streaming platforms.
I don’t understand why streaming platforms like Netflix and Prime Video do this. Are you trying to get me to go away? Would you rather I turn you off and play outside? I don’t appreciate the judgment.
It’s fur-babies or no babies.
My mom told me this past Mother’s Day that she’d be heartbroken if she never got to have grandbabies of her own. I told her that she better start changing her definition of “grandbaby” — otherwise, she was in for a world of hurt.
It’s a vicious cycle.
Let’s be clear, I don’t want to go to the party but I better be invited. I need the reassurance of knowing that I’m still wanted, mixed with the autonomy of deciding my own fate in the matter.
When pets start looking like their owners…
I can’t tell if the dog is mocking me or if this truly is a modeled behavior? In my house, it really could go either way. That’s literally how I’m dressed 70-80% of the time.
I didn’t think I was getting old until I read this…
Last week, I was out for brunch with my fiancee. We walked into the restaurant and the music was so loud that I came within inches of asking our server if they could please turn it down. Then, I realized I had become my mother and instantly started to cry.
I’ve become a master at fake-tying my shoes.
The trick is that you always bend over and pretend that you’re tying the right shoe. You can kind of hunch your body and turn inward to make it look as if you’re totally focused on the task at hand and oblivious to the world around you.
You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not at my best.
Social interactions sometimes feel as if they go by in dog years , where one hour can feel like seven. In that case, it makes perfect sense that I would stay in bed and rest for three full days after going out just one night.
This is logic I can follow.
I’m going to have to disagree, arriving late is never a good idea — especially at a party. Arriving early shows you respect the efforts of the host. It allows you to establish you aren’t drinking while everyone is still sober. If nothing else, always remember: first one in, first one out.
Maybe this “Metaverse” thing isn’t such a bad idea, after all.
I wish I had the kinetic abilities of Professor X . I’d probably somehow still manage to come off completely awkward and inappropriate, even with mutant-level mind control, but at least then I’d have the power to make people forget.
