Foodservice workers get a lot of flack. It’s a stressful job that no one seems to think is stressful besides those who work it, and with upwards of hundreds of customers a day, they’re bound to run into some rude folks pretty often.
Though they often can’t verbally tell these customers off, some have figured out perfectly petty ways to mess with their orders and enact secret revenge.
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Picture perfect.
“At my last restaurant job, my coworker would make very ugly sundaes for customers who were rude. For particularly nice customers, she would painstakingly recreate the sundaes in the menu pictures and give them extra cream and sprinkles.”
Over the top.
“Wanted extra mayo so I maliciously complied by drenching it. Lady thought I would forget her fake $10 prayer tip the last time she was there.”
Tip fake outs are the absolute worst, giving that lady a soggy sandwich was well within your rights.
Drenched.
“I didn’t tamper with food but if you were an asshole I would spill water on you. Had a couple of people who came in 3-4 days a week, were nasty mean and never tipped. Every single server they had spilled a pitcher of water on them over a two week period every time they came in. They finally got the hint. Don’t be mean to people trying to do their (stressful) job. Don’t want to tip? At least be kind.”
An extra tug.
“When I was a pizza delivery driver, when habitual non-tippers ordered I wouldn’t cut their pizza all the way through.”
Ooo, this one’s clever. Trying to rip a non-fully cut pizza is the worst when all you want is a nice hot slice. It gets all torn and the cheese slides right off!
Overloaded.
“I had a buddy at [McDonald’s], a real chaotic type, who every once and a while would say ‘oh hey, guess what time it is… PICKLE SURPRISE!’ and put a whole handful of pickles on a random cheeseburger.”
Less revenge and more random acts of chaos, but still a fun way to shake things up.
Lost charges.
“I’ve never [messed] with anyone’s food because that’s gross. I did however throw someone’s credit card away after she mistakenly left it behind. Maybe she shouldn’t have stiffed me and been a [expletive] the whole evening”
Pick-me-up revoked.
“Many many years ago when I was barista if someone was exceptionally rude I’d make their drink with decaf.”
This sounds horrendous to someone like me who probably has a caffeine problem, which makes it the perfect revenge against those who are rude to baristas.
The ol’ fake out.
“I worked in a very well known fast food chain for a while. My favourite example of this actually involved nothing. The person who bought food had been rude to staff on multiple occasions. The person serving went to get their food, popped round the corner in a noticeable way, then returned having done nothing. He gave the food to him with a huge grin on his face and said ‘enjoy’. He then watched the person throw it in the bin when he went outside.”
Bare minimum.
“Worked at a movie theatre for a while. Our pizzas came frozen in a large bag of many pizzas, so the contents sometimes got shifted around during shipping. One dude was acting like it was the end of the world because he got there late, hungry, AND had to wait in line. He ordered a pepperoni pizza, so my coworker went to the freezer, pulled out a pizza with ONE slice of pepperoni on it, and tossed that sucker into the oven.”
A slow leak.
“One time I ordered a liter of cola and the kid working the register secretly poked a hole in the cup.”
What did you do to this kid that warranted such an evil response? Are you telling on yourself here?
Too much to handle.
“One table were extremely racist to my colleague so I was given their table and they were so nice to me. So I overcooked their free brownie so it was burnt in some spots, put too much chocolate topping on their brownie so it was sickly sweet and very hard to eat.”
Crushed.
“Not a restaurant but sometimes if a customer at my grocery store is being an asshole I’ll put their bananas or bread on the bottom of the cart so they get squished.”
Imagine their dismay when they get home to mushy bananas, it’s perfect!
Not shaken, not stirred.
“If you are a [expletive] to baristas at Starbucks, you will get decaf espresso shots in your latte/cap/frap what ever. If you ordered tea, they will not shake it. This is the way.”
This expands on the decaff thing from earlier, but makes sure that rue tea drinkers aren’t safe from baritsa wrath.
The price of rudeness.
“I used to work in fast food … if you were a [expletive] and you didn’t specify a meal or anything just ordering bits and pieces you bet I’m not going to offer cheaper packs with the same stuff! They got each and every individual item. Some guy once order some nuggets and chips and I gave him just that (approx $20) too bad if he was nice I would have offered a drink and saved him like $5 .”
A real downgrade.
“Guy was being an asshole at the drive thru, so I gave him no onions instead of extra onions.”
That lack of flavor must have hit him immediately. Onions are so strong that, for someone who usually orders extra, having none at all must have felt like a heartbreak.
