Women Share Their Biggest Dating Pet Peeves

Sarah Kester
Madlyn on The Ultimatum
The Tab | Netflix

It goes without saying that being single is exhausting.

Just watch shows like Love Is Blind, The Bachelor, and The Ultimatum, and you'll see why people desire the safety and security of a marriage.

Too many turnoffs come with meeting potential mates, like a clingy partner, bad hygiene habits, and ghosting. Why do people do this?! One second they're everything you want and then ~poof~ they're like Casper the Avoidant Ghost.

To air out these major icks, women on Reddit got real about their biggest dating pet peeves!


Amy Schumer and Bill Hader in Trainwreck
vulture | Universal

Nothing sends a woman packing faster than a man who becomes a fifth-stage clinger. They go from being a stranger to wanting to call you every second of every day and wedging themselves into your life with constant plans. We have lives! We can't make it all about you.

Expectations for sex

Unsplash | DANNY G

"Trust is so important for sex to me. It can be awkward, and it’s an extremely vulnerable situation. I don’t understand how someone could have sex without trust, and it irks me when people get mad at me for not putting out early on." - u/gnoble22


Giphy | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Being insecure isn't a good look. It's when people go out of their way to diminish a women's intelligence and accomplishments because they're feeling threatened. They usually do this by continuous one-upping in conversations.

Trauma dumping

Unsplash | Andrik Langfield

"I'm humbled that you confided in me but we literally just met, I don't know you and have no idea what to say now. Also, these stories will be stuck in my head for weeks now." - u/Allegutennamenweg

Getting mad at slow texting

Giphy | Drop The Mic

This happens way too often during back and forth conversations on dating apps.

You go silent to relax or hang out with your friends and then they blow up your phone and accuse you of ignoring them.

When people refuse to break up with you and instead try to get you to break up with them

Sad couple
Unsplash | Eric Ward

"If you know you aren't feeling it, just say so. It isn't kinder to pull away and be weird until your partner gets sick of it and dumps you." - u/cr0wj4n3

The words coming out of their mouth don’t match their actions

My Best Friends Girl
IMBd | Paramount Pictures

AKA the men who tell women what they want to hear. Being dishonest is helping no one! For instance, don't say you're trustworthy when you know you're going to talk to other girls.

The awkward check dance

Unsplash | Jonathan J. Castellon

"Men are so preoccupied with who's paying for dinner. If they're paying it has to be a big thing, if they're allowing me to pay it's even a bigger scene. It's just money, who cares? One of the two picks up the tab, the other says 'next one's on me' and that should be that in 2022." - u/LizLoosdrecht83

When someone talks crap about their exes

Giphy | Discovery

It's a lot like when a friend talks about other people behind their backs. One day, you know that they will be doing the same but about you. If all his exes "are crazy," usually he's the problem.

People on dating apps who aren’t ready to be on them or don’t actually want to date

Dating app
Unsplash | Andrej LiĊĦakov

"Not over their ex, wanting validation, bored in covid isolation, literally have no spare time to meet or whatever and still swiping, matching and starting conversations. Then you try and set up a date and they flake, they ghost or are so busy you can’t set a day. Such a waste of time." - u/okeydokeyartichokeyy

The "nice guy" act

Ted Mosby

Ugh, this is the worst! When men proclaim that all women are evil because they're not interested in a "nice guy" like them.

As one woman shared, they will say stuff like, "I'm just so nice and I do xyz and women don't give me a chance, they all want assholes."

People kicking around the bush or trying to play games

Giphy | Top Talent

"I'm a rather direct person, and I don't appreciate it when other people are not open and direct with their wants and intentions, or worse, trying to play games or toy with my feelings." - u/mikadtsuki

A man checking out another woman

Angry girl
Unsplash | Maria Lysenko

I mean, how rude! It makes a woman feel self-conscious when the man she's on a date with is checking out the chest of another woman or flirting with the waitress. Break your neck staring on your own time!

Low effort men

King of Queens
Rockstorageplace | CBS

"Having your [expletive] together shouldn't be considered a 'high standard.' We should not be applauding men because they do the bare minimum. I would rather be single the rest of my life than be stuck with taking care of a lazy inconsiderate adult." - u/mysackett

Talking about sex before meeting in person


Sadly, this happens way too often on dating apps, even the ones that aren't Tinder! This is a major no-no that gives women cause for concern. Why is emotional intimacy so hard to find these days?

Lack of honesty with expectations

Unsplash | Charlie Foster

"I've had people swear they're ok with no strings attached casual sex and they're blowing up my phone within a week. I've also had people swear they're looking for something "serious" and they ghost a few months into things, only to randomly message me like eight months later with the, 'hey srry wyd right now?'" -u/CurledUpNapping

Constantly being asked to hang out after matching on an app

Never Have I Ever
Paste | Netflix

This is the definition of coming on too strong. As one woman shared, we've known you for all of seven minutes and three messages. We don't want nor need to come to your house or go on a hike alone with you. That's giving major serial killer vibes.

Self-absorbed dates


Dating, much like a conversation, is a dance. It's supposed to be two people getting to know each other, not just one person leading all the time. Many women expressed that they've been on bad dates where the man talked about himself the whole time.


Giphy | Lifetime

"People who say they had an amazing time and want to see you again but ghost when you try and set up another date. What's the point? I'm not going to be too upset if a stranger I've met once doesn't want to hang out again." - u/pellegrinos

H/T: Reddit