Woman Shares How She Tests Men On First Dates To See If They Deserve A Second

Ashley Hunte
Two sets of hands, each holding cups of hot beverages on a table.
Unsplash | Jonathan J. Castellon

Dating in this day and age is pretty difficult. We're all looking for "the one;" someone who checks off all the boxes, even if you're just on a first date.

First dates are basically tests of compatibility, but few of us have stringent, strict rules we go by — it's often more of a feeling. But for some, it's definitely a pass-or-fail situation, as we'll see.

One woman shares the tests she has for the men she dates.

In a TikTok uploaded by @respectfullygabby, she talks about how there are certain tests a man has to pass on the first date, if there are going to be a second.

The first is that the guy 100% has to pay for the first date.

A person pulling dollar bills out of a leather wallet.
Unsplash | Allef Vinicius

There's definitely a lot of back and forth and different opinions on this, and I don't think there's one right answer. But to her, this is very important.

Her second test is all about if your date will ensure your safety.

A downtown street in the middle of the night.
Unsplash | AR

Gabby tells a story about how she was at a bar with a date in Miami, and when it was time to go home they were both waiting for their Ubers.

His came first and he offered to wait.

A car on a brick street at night.
Unsplash | Brecht Denil

Gabby told him it was okay, and he ended up leaving her alone in the middle of the night. Which, of course, made her feel very unsafe.

"If you don’t care about my safety and making sure I get into my Uber safely, you’re done," she said. “This man failed my protection test, and he never heard from me again."

The third test is to see if a man will offer up his jacket if she says she's cold.

A man in a yellow jacket walking down a road.
Unsplash | Rajab Guga

This one, she explains, is a test to see if he's considerate enough to at least ask.

"I wanna see if you will give me the shirt off your back, and if you don’t, you’re dead to me," she explained.

Of course, the comment section was very divided.

Two doctors arguing.
Giphy | HULU

Some people agreed with her "tests" completely, while others agreed with some but not others. And there were some people who disagreed entirely.

For some, the tests were a no-brainer.

Dan Levy saying "obviously" while rolling his eyes.
Giphy | CBC

Especially the one about safety.

One commenter wrote, "If a guy doesn’t make sure I get home safely after our date, I won’t go out with him again, no matter how good the date was."

Others pointed out that these tests show how considerate a date is.

The same man edited three times into a screen alongside the words, "oooh! Please be polite!"

"Normally I don’t agree with tests because it’s all about being sincere... but this is just common sense stuff to look out for the lady you're with," another commenter wrote.

And others pointed out that communication is key.

A woman saying "feel free, feel free. Speak your mind."
Giphy | King of Boys

One comment reads, "Say what you mean and mean what you say lol don't say it's okay when it's not!! He shouldn’t have left but you should have said 'thank you for staying.'"

All in all, it seems like there's no real consensus.

Seth Meyers raising and lowering both hands while saying, "who knows?"
Giphy | Late Night with Seth Meyers

I think being upfront with your expectations is always best, but sometimes it's hard to see how sincere your date is unless you pick up on the things they don't do. Either way, you're probably bound to go on a lot of bad first dates, and only a few good ones.

What do you think of her tests? Let us know in the comments!