Grandma Feels Conflicted After Her Son Refuses To Take Grandchild To Disneyland

Mason Joseph Zimmer
Disneyland cast member in Alice in Wonderland costume entertaining child with White Rabbit, Queen of Hearts, and ragtime pianist
youtube | gruntzooki

For many of us, going to our grandparents' house as children was something to look forward to because we knew they'd spoil us as much as they could.

But some people rely a lot more on their grandparents than that because without them, they may not have a guardian at all. This can be due to a death in the family, but another unfortunate reality is that some parents simply aren't up to the challenge of family life or aren't healthy for their children to be around.

Just as unfortunately, it can be hard to explain to a child why that arrangement needs to exist the way it does. And as one grandma's story illustrates, that's especially true if that child is about to be excluded from a enviable family event.

The grandma we're about to hear from had her son Julius at 18, and he would grow to get his then-girlfriend pregnant at 19.

dad in tank top folding his arms on computer screen
youtube | Paramount Home Entertainment

As she explained in a Reddit post, this girlfriend has since been deported but tries to see her daughter Annabella as much as she can and FaceTimes her every night.

By contrast, Julius has since married another woman named Katja and had two boys with her. And while Annabella loves him dearly, he doesn't call her and comes by on a monthly basis to spend the day with her and drop off some toys.

And considering how much Katja loves Annabella, the grandma suspects that even this interaction is happening at her insistence.

Lily Tomlin looking miffed in Grandma
youtube | Sony Pictures Classics

As a result, she's been the one to raise Annabella for most of the child's life and Julius remains insistent that she stay where she is.

In the grandma's words, "It hurts her so much that he doesn't spend time with her because he's her hero."

These issues recently came to a head after Julius told the grandma that he and Katja were taking the family to Disneyland in August.

Disneyland cast member in Alice in Wonderland costume entertaining child with White Rabbit, Queen of Hearts, and ragtime pianist
Wikimedia Commons | gruntzooki

This led the grandma to tell him that Annabella would be so excited to go and that he should break the news to her on her birthday.

However, as she put it, "He just blankly told me she's not coming and the trip is for his boys."

When she demanded that Annabella be included, he called her a rude word he never used to describe his mother before for trying to control him.

While she's now admitting her reacting was controlling, she also feels her son isn't appreciating how much this would mean to his daughter.

And when she posed her dilemma to Reddit, commenters were overwhelmingly sympathetic to her and horrified by Julius' parenting.

female paramedics hugging
other | One Chicago

As one user said, "So he just pawned his child off on you for eternity? Does he send you child support? Does he make any actual effort to be a father to his daughter?"

That being said, others were unconvinced that forcing him to take Annabella on the trip would be a good idea even if it was possible.

In the words of another person, "His resentment will definitely spill over onto her, and she won't have that great of a time."

Instead, many recommended trying to go after him for child support.

h/t: Reddit | DisneyTripGrandma