There's nothing that compares to the joy of hearing your child laugh, or the sensation that comes from watching them smile and play — what a complete crock.
Real dads know that part of being a real, honest parent means admitting the times when our little mini-mes drive us up the wall. Have a look and check out these 15 dads who perfectly sum up fatherhood with tweets.
Keep a lid on it, kid! Don't go diming me out to your mom just because your 3-year-old brain hasn't yet figured out how to go about your mischief undetected. It took me years to be able to master those skills, and I don't need you blowing my gambit up in front of the boss lady.
Yes, yes, we all know that it's important for kids to pay attention and stay off their tech and tablets while at school. But when it's something as "life or death" as the new COD trailer, you better believe I'm answering.
"Probability tells you that a toddler has a 50-50 chance of putting their shoes on the correct feet. Parenting tells you otherwise." - Twitter @HenpeckedHal
If you think you've got it bad trying to wrangle your little monster, imagine having 30 of those wide-eyed little miscreants staring back at you from inside a classroom. I wholeheartedly concur — teachers do not get paid enough.
"If you’ve never turned the volume on your car stereo up to drown out the sounds of your kids, are you really even a parent?" - Twitter @R_A_Dadass
As the twig is bent, so grows the tree. The only solace I have is the knowledge that one day, that little buzzsaw is going to grow up and have incredibly annoying kids of their own. And when that day comes, my glee won't be able to be contained.
I'm tired of seeing all these know-it-all perfect angel Disney Princesses. Instead of instilling adult qualities into children, why not paint them as the terrifying miscreants that they are? Now that's a movie I want to see...or do I?
What kind of human being complains about eating pizza too often? When I was a kid, I would've eaten pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. As a matter of fact, I still would even today.
I was over at my brother's house not long ago and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to turn on the TV and stereo system. All of a sudden, in strolls my 4-year-old niece who promptly takes the controller from out my hand, and fixes it in five-seconds-flat. She doesn't even know how to tie her shoes yet!
"Instead of day drinking[sic] we get to take our kid to a birthday party and stand around with our hands in our pockets listening to kids cough." - Twitter @simoncholland
My favorite parenting quote comes courtesy of Homer Simpson, who once said "The sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back." That always resonated with me, probably because truer words have never been spoken.
I can remember being a kid and having this compulsion to cover myself in band-aids. It was right around the time when I first got into "Goosebumps" books, so the best I can figure is that I was trying to make myself look like a mummy.
Pretend? I feed her, wash her clothes, wipe her butt, and do everything else in-between. I don't need to "pretend" that I'm her servant — I'm literally living the life of an indentured servant as is.
I mean, if we're polling opinions, I for one think that "salad frosting" is a far superior name compared to "Ranch." What is Ranch, anyway? What am I getting; what does it mean? I'd go as far as to say that it's the most untrustworthy of all salad dressings.
"Do I miss having time to myself and sleeping through the night since my kid was born? Yes. But would I give up being a father just for the sake of the extra time in bed on the weekends? Hang on I'm thinking." - Twitter @thedad
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