Disability is often overlooked in society. And as a result, many non-disabled people don't really know how to interact with people who have disabilities of any kind. This results in, at best, awkward encounters, and at worse, totally insulting ones for the person on the receiving end of ablism.
That tends to include wheelchair users.
In a Twitter thread by Ada Hubrig, they talk about how most people don't really know how to act around wheelchair users. They then give a lot of good advice on how to be respectful toward disabled people.
There's no reason to treat a wheelchair user differently. After all, disabled people are people, and they deserve as much dignity and respect as anyone else. When not in motion, just treat them like any other person who's sitting down.
They really hit the point home here. Disabled people can speak for themselves, and just because a wheelchair user is with a non-disabled person, doesn't mean you have to address all questions or conversation to the non-disabled person. That's, in fact, pretty dehumanizing.
If you find yourself doing this unconsciously, pause, apologize, and start addressing the correct person. That's how we improve.
You know how you wouldn't touch a coworker's hair? Or how you wouldn't put your hand on a complete stranger's shoulder to move past them?
This is literally no different than either of those examples.
It's really not appropriate to ask anyone this sort of thing. Not just because it can force them to relive a lot of trauma, but also because it's really none of your business.
Yeah, that's pretty invasive too. I think a good rule of thumb is to not ask people invasive questions, whether they're in a wheelchair, are nonbinary/transgender, or belong to none of those groups.
This is actually another way that people dehumanize wheelchair users. Wheelchairs aren't toys and they aren't props. You wouldn't let a stranger pick your kids up, so why would you let your kids climb on a stranger's wheelchair?
When it comes to touching, think of the wheelchair (or any mobility aid) as an extension of the person's bodily autonomy.
A person isn't faking because you saw them use a wheelchair one moment, and then walk the next. Don't assume you know the extent of a person's disability. Like, ever.
Mistreating or othering disabled people just makes things hard for them. There's so much unnecessary stigma around using wheelchairs or other mobility devices, and some disabled people who need them end up going without just to avoid that stigma.
And that's incredibly unfair.
Of course, Hubrig is just one disabled person and one wheelchair user. Disability isn't a monolith, but if you aren't sure how to interact with a disabled person, this thread is a pretty good starting point.
