A cat and puppy dog sitting next to each other in a patch of grass.
Unsplash | Andrew S

20 Tweets About Pets To Laugh At While Your Dog Eats Your Favorite Pair Of Shoes

Being a pet owner is a lot like being a parent, except your pets don't talk back to you, and they never get jobs or move out of the house.

Still, it's a very fulfilling (albeit pretty hilarious) experience. And to be honest, the tweets in this list kind of sum it all up to a T.

Asking the important questions right off the bat.

I'm sure dogs associate any kind of attention we give them as love. So when we hand them treats, give them belly rubs, and yes, kiss them on the forehead, they're gonna get it one way or another.

When your pet is also your number one fan.

Dogs and cats may not always understand what we're saying to them, but one thing every person gets is that when a dog follows you around, it means you're basically bonded for life. You'll always have at least one (1) fan out there.

I want to say no, but...

Breaking into a house may be illegal, but is it really that bad if you're just doing it to play with a friend's dog? Okay, so yes it is. But any true friend would give you a key so that you can show up to play with their dog whenever you want.

The reddest of red flags.

Or, if they don't say "big stretch" whenever a cat or dog stretches, or say "yeah, I know" whenever they sigh deeply. It's like, do you even care about pets at all?

Classic dog behavior.

Raise your hand if your dog has ever climbed up somewhere and couldn't get back down. Luckily, even the biggest of doggos isn't too big to pick up and bring back down to the floor (Yes, including dogs that are 100+ pounds... where there's a will, there's a way).

None of these things matter, except the last thing.

I'm sure we all have social media accounts we don't even use, but somehow still have pictures of our pets on them. And by "we all," I totally just mean me.

The eternal struggle of being a cat owner.

They're so nice one moment, and then literal seconds later, they're suddenly very mean. Like Felix here, who really had to show all sides of his personality at once. Classic.

I'd rather not think about that, thank you very much.

Like, how dare this tweet exist? Obviously all dogs and cats are going to live forever. They are our best friends and they'll never die. I refuse to believe anything else.

It's like they do it on purpose.

Smaller dogs do this too. It's like they want you to accidentally run into them. Like, what were you expecting, Mittens? Us humans have places to be.

Let's face it, this isn't your carpet anymore.

Any carpet, area rug, or anything of the sort automatically belongs to your dog as soon as it's on the floor. It's now the combination face scratching spot and treat devouring area. Oh, and it's the play mat, too.

And if you're unlucky, the toilet.

Agreed on all fronts, especially the part about the dog.

Dogs really are like kids. Because like a child, you'd be telling a dog not to be so noisy. And like a child, the dog would continue to make noise like you didn't just say something.

If cats could talk, they would tell us nothing but lies.

I'm convinced that cats know when they've done something they're not supposed to have done. And yet, they probably don't feel that bad.

If they could, though, they would absolutely try to pin the blame on a different pet in the house.

It's... startlingly similar to babysitting a human child.

Like small kids, puppies have a hard time going to the bathroom when (and where) you want them to. But on the plus side, they learn. Eventually.

Might not want to have any expensive rugs on the ground for the first little while.

They always end up making it out, too.

This is a pretty accurate representation of keeping your cat (and some dogs) from making a break for it every single time you open the front door. If it gets to this point, you've already lost.

It's not like you can move them or anything.

No, seriously. You can't move them. If you have a cat sitting on top of you at any given time, you're stuck in that spot until the cat decides to move. Even if it takes hours. Sorry, but those are the rules.

Absolutely unhinged behavior.

Just when you thought cats couldn't get any weirder, somebody has to go and post this video. I honestly can't handle the strange yet hilarious way this cat's decided to eat kibble. I also can't help but find it ever so slightly terrifying.

When your pet is the actual pet owner:

Cats have a tendency of picking their favorite human among the household. They also do this with other cats. So yeah, I hate to break it to OP, but that cat isn't theirs anymore. The kitten belongs to the other cat. That's just how it goes.

Yeah, but we can't help but empathize with them anyway.

Sure, dogs like to act like they have to pay taxes or send their kids through college, even though all they do is eat, sleep, and get belly rubs all day. But you know what? It's hard work being the cute one in the house. I don't blame dogs for sighing one bit!

This is a form of bullying.

I personally think that there should be a law that requires anyone who owns a pet to share at least one picture of said pet with their workplace. In fact, I'm drafting a letter to my government representative right this moment...

It's give and take: you give, and your cat takes.

Cats sure do love... their alone time. The worst is when they're all buddy buddy with you until you feed them, and then they immediately peace out once they get what they want. How manipulative of them.