15 Women From 1889 Who Gave Hilariously Honest Answers About Why They Were Single

Jordan Claes
Victorian age woman on age
Unsplash | Library of Congress

A lot has changed over the course of the last two hundred years, and sadly some things have remained as constant as the Northern star. One of which is men asking women why they "choose" to be single.

Recently, a historian by the name of Dr. Bob Nicholson was studying an 1889 edition of Tit-Bits magazine, and came across an interesting article wherein the paper asked its female readers "Why are you single?"

Because when all is said and done, men are little more than pets.

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Twitter | @DigiVictorian

I love how Miss Sparrow uses the term "The animal man." It makes them sound positively beastly, which if I'm being honest, a strong proportion of men were — especially during the 1800s.

A beautiful display of sarcasm and wit.

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Twitter | @DigiVictorian

I have no idea who Miss Annie Newton was, but I feel like we'd get along. It took me about three times reading through this little blurb before I was actually able to ascertain what it was that she was saying.

What a sharp-witted simile.

Michael Scott boom roasted

"Because men, like three-cornered tarts, are deceitful. They are very pleasing to the eye, but on closer acquaintanceship prove hollow and stale, consisting chiefly of puff, with a minimum of sweetness and an unconquerable propensity to disagree with one." - Miss Emaline Lawrence

I'm afraid of Americans; I'm afraid of the world.

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Twitter | @DigiVictorian

I feel like back when this was written, close to two hundred years ago, this would've been quite the controversial statement. Nowadays, everyone just accepts that Americans monopolize everything.

The Bard said it best.

man and woman on the stairs
Giphy | ABC Network

"My reasons for being a spinster is answered in a quotation from "The Taming of the Shrew": 'Of all the men alive I never yet beheld that special face, which I could fancy more than any other'." - Miss Lizzie Moore

Know yourself; know your worth.

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twitter | @DigiVictorian

You tell 'em, Miss Watts! You can't just go and give it all up to the first bozo who happens to give you a sideways glance. I feel like this could be a lyric from an Ariana Grande song, today.

Simply put — I'm one of a kind.

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twitter | @DigiVictorian

Difficult to match doesn't even begin to describe it! I once broke a plate from my Nana's china set back when I was 7-years-old and I still hear about it until this very day.

Wild horses could not drag me away.

Mick Jagger kissing

"Like the wild mustang of the prairie that roams unfettered, tossing his head in utter disdain at the approach of the lasso which, if once round his neck, proclaims him captive. So I find it more delightful to tread on the verge of freedom and captivity than to allow the snarer to cast around me the matrimonial lasso." - Miss Sarah Kennerly

Waiting in the wing.

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twitter | @DigiVictorian

According to my research, the Rifle Volunteers were a group that was formed just after the time of the Crimean War. By all accounts and purposes, these troops were the last line of the country's defense — and I mean that as literally and as uncomplimentary as possible.

It's John's loss.

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twitter | @DigiVictorian

I'm conflicted. On the one hand, I'm glad to see a woman breaking into the workforce. But the fact that she had to do so under the understanding that she would receive half the salary for the same amount of work is troublesome.

Love is like a battery...

Marv from Home Alone electrocuted

"Because matrimony is like an electric battery, when you once join hands you can't let go, however much it hurts; and, as when embarked on a toboggan slide, you must go to the bitter end, however much it bumps." - Miss Laura Bax

Here are a few responses to this hilarious thread.

All of the above responses are hilarious, facetious, bordering on the salacious at times. But I also have to say that Miss Sarah Kennerly is the clear winner in the bunch. I bet she was a powerful woman in her time.

Can you imagine if they had social media in the 1800s?!

How different would the world look today if we had social media over two hundred years ago? It's an interesting question, although my bet is if that were the case — we wouldn't be alive today to ponder it.

The more properly punctuated an insult is, the more it burns.

There's something almost poetic in the way that these women are able to utterly desecrate men with mere words. It's reminiscent of the siren's song that used to lure unsuspecting sailors onto the rocks.

Now that you mention it — neither can I!

Clearly, people were a lot more trustworthy back in the 1800s. Although it does raise an interesting question of why the paper would choose to publish the women's addresses in the first place?