Netflix might have become just one in a large crowd of streaming services out there now, but they’ve got one market pretty well cornered: true crime docs. They should really think about rebranding that category “Netflix and Chillers.”
They’re fascinating! It’s difficult for humans to hear a mystery and not want to solve it, so naturally we get sucked in and put on our own detective hats. Before you know it, you’re absolutely obsessed.
RELATED STORIES
You know what that means: true crime fans are ripe for the meme treatment.
Well, it’s not like math is that useful anyway.
Outside of applying for a mortgage or calculating how much pie you can safely take without anyone else in the house noticing, it doesn’t even compare with the importance of serial killer knowledge.
It’s not awkward, it’s a shibboleth.
It’s not an icebreaker — spouting out those random serial killer facts are just how you find other true crime obsessed people.
Where were you 20 years ago?
No matter how many finely-tuned, expertly trained minds have tried to tackle a cold case, you just never know if maybe your particular mind is the filter the facts needed to go through.
Gotta dive back in!
I mean, the dishes aren’t going anywhere, and laundry just needs to be thrown into the machine and then you can forget about it for a while. Why not?
I’m sure Michael Myers would approve.
Those poor, unsuspecting teenagers have no idea the disturbing facts coming their way. You don’t need a butcher knife to scar someone for life.
When your watchlist earns you a spot on someone else’s watchlist.
I guess it doesn’t take much for a healthy interest to take a decidedly unhealthy turn, after all.
It’s important to establish ground rules.
And when you’re starting at the Ed Kemper end of the spectrum, safe middle ground shouldn’t be tough to reach. It really, really shouldn’t.
It doesn’t take much to get hooked.
After that, you may as well head down to the local precinct to get deputized, because you’re going to be thinking about the case all day every day anyway.
It’s really your happy place.
I know, it seems like a mystery of its own. As disturbing as it might sound to others that you spend your commute reliving the worst moments of someone else’s life, the true crime fans in the crowd will get it.
True crime is an introvert’s best friend.
Those documentaries aren’t going to watch themselves! And hey, missing a party or two would be well worth the price of bringing a killer to justice.
You can’t stifle the drama.
Makes you wonder if the other riders are filling in the blanks between your reactions with their own stories. Anything to make the ride less boring!
Honestly, I would watch it, too.
They have a Detective Pikachu now, so why not a Detective Mickey? Or get Chip and Dale back on the case, or bring Darkwing Duck out of retirement. There are options!
