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10+ Creepy Vintage Toys That Should Have Never Existed

by Kasia Mikolajczak
6 years ago
in People & Society
Reading Time: 3 mins read
A A
Unsplash | Vanessa Bucceri

Unsplash | Vanessa Bucceri

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Kids’ toys have come a long way throughout the years. No longer are kids are stuck playing with an empty cardboard box to entertain themselves. But there are some vintage toys I recently came across that seriously question the sanity of their creators.

Check out these bizarre kids’ vintage toys that are both creepy and scary at the same time.

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1. Pregnant Doll

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

I’m all about teaching kids about the birds and the bees but perhaps this doll is just too literal. I mean this is a bit too much.

2. Evil Hunted Toilet

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

I’m a big fan of the Ghostbusters franchise but that doesn’t mean I would enjoy this crazy kid’s toy. I know where to draw the line.

3. Hugo, Man Of Thousand Faces

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

Why would anyone think this was a good toy to give to a child? If one creepy face wasn’t enough you’ve got these!

4. Baby Laugh A Lot

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

This doll comes with an unusually high pitched and quite creepy laugh that couldn’t soothe anyone’s child. It might have been the inspiration for Chucky !

5. The Creepiest Bears You’ve Ever Seen

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

Children love cozying up to their favorite stuffed bear. But when the bear resembles a person more than an animal that’s a no.

6. Cyclops Baby Stroller

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

I’m an adult and even I feel pretty uncomfortable looking at a baby sitting in this thing especially since it looks like a brain inside. Yuck!

7. Poor Man’s Mickey

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

Mickey Mouse is a beloved children’s toy that has inspired many other interesting toys. But this super weird, and skinny version is just too odd.

8. Face Bank

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

This toy was created with the intention of teaching kids about saving money. But its weird staring eyes and a mouth that opens is just petrifying.

9. Lost In Translation

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

The idea of this Japanese toy is that it’s a surprise when you open the package. The fact that it looks a bit fleshy is unappealing.

10. Retro-Futuristic Robot

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

Usually, when we think of retro-futuristic things we think of something as cool as _ The Jetsons_ but this scary robot is not what we had in mind.

11.Bonny Braids

Image credit: Pinterest
Pinterest

This seemingly innocent doll is actually the baby of Dick Tracy and his beloved Tess Trueheart . Even though she’s pretty creepy, she’s apparently pretty desirable to collectors.

12. Victorian Swimming Doll

Image credit: YouTube | TheThings
YouTube | TheThings

This super weird looking doll was made to swim. The only problem is this doll is supposed to swim on land. What’s up with that?

13. Vintage Cowboy Doll

Image credit: Pinterest
Pinterest

I dunno if this doll looks more like a clown than a cowboy. Adding a toy gun doesn’t really make it any less confusing.

I don’t even know where to start on these.

Talking about some unusual thinking here. Did you grow up with any weird toys that you wouldn’t wish upon any child?

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