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Woman Faces Dilemma: Disabled Sister-in-Law Living with Them or Not?

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 11 mins read
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Imagine having three young kids, a hectic life, and suddenly, your husband wants his disabled sister to move in with you. This is the reality for one woman who faces a difficult decision: should she allow her sister-in-law, who has cerebral palsy and the cognitive development of a five-year-old, to live with them? As the sister-in-law’s parents age, the responsibility of her care is becoming more challenging. The woman’s husband believes it’s time for his sister to live with them, but the wife is hesitant. Let’s dive into this emotional rollercoaster of a story.

The Hectic Life They Lead ‍♀️

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

Meet the Sister-in-Law

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

Her Needs and Challenges

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

The In-Laws’ Struggles

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

A Life-Changing Proposal

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

The Wife’s Concerns

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

The Impact on Their Kids

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

Searching for Alternatives

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

The Husband’s Reaction

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

A Marriage in Jeopardy?

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

A Miscommunication?

Image credit: aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252
aitathrowaway252 | aitathrowaway252

A Family Torn Apart: What Will They Choose?

This heartrending story has left a family in turmoil. The wife is struggling to imagine a life where they can manage their three young children and care for her disabled sister-in-law. The husband, on the other hand, feels a strong responsibility to his sister and believes it’s time she lived with them. The wife’s concerns about the impact on their children and their marriage are valid, but so is the husband’s desire to keep his promise to his mother. As they search for alternatives and face difficult decisions, we can only hope they find a solution that works for everyone. Let’s see what the internet thinks of this situation…

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Stand firm on not taking in someone you don’t want to.

Image credit: amantiana | amantiana
amantiana | amantiana

Husband must understand the impact on children. Therapy recommended. NTA.

Image credit: nonanonaye | nonanonaye
nonanonaye | nonanonaye

Husband’s hidden plan to bring disabled sister-in-law is unacceptable

Image credit: foibleShmoible | foibleShmoible
foibleShmoible | foibleShmoible

NTA. OP’s compromise was fair, husband can’t decide for her.

Image credit: buckeyegal923 | buckeyegal923
buckeyegal923 | buckeyegal923

Assisted living may be better for sister-in-law’s care and happiness

Image credit: PuffyPinkCow1 | PuffyPinkCow1
PuffyPinkCow1 | PuffyPinkCow1

Caring for SIL with disabilities not OP’s responsibility. NTA.

Image credit: UnsightlyFuzz | UnsightlyFuzz
UnsightlyFuzz | UnsightlyFuzz

A personal story of why living with a disabled relative is difficult

Image credit: Piglet251 | Piglet251
Piglet251 | Piglet251

NTA, but moving in disabled SIL will uproot your lives

Image credit: Dramatic-Stress | Dramatic-Stress
Dramatic-Stress | Dramatic-Stress

NAH, but husband should have discussed promise with OP first. Compromises available.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Spouse agreed to care for sister-in-law without telling partner. NTA.

Image credit: RandallFlagg74 | RandallFlagg74
RandallFlagg74 | RandallFlagg74

Consider group home for disabled sister-in-law. YNTA (You’re Not The A-hole)

Image credit: Wafflesxbutter | Wafflesxbutter
Wafflesxbutter | Wafflesxbutter

Spouse’s loyalty should be to their marriage, not sister-in-law. NTA.

Image credit: wind-river7 | wind-river7
wind-river7 | wind-river7

Caring for a disabled family member while raising a family?

Image credit: tlpotter | tlpotter
tlpotter | tlpotter

Taking care of a disabled family member is tough

Image credit: Yellow_38 | Yellow_38
Yellow_38 | Yellow_38

Plan for the future and co-parenting, prioritize kids’ well-being.

Image credit: MiaOh | MiaOh
MiaOh | MiaOh

NAH. An impartial third party like a therapist can help.

Image credit: GonnaBeIToldUSo | GonnaBeIToldUSo
GonnaBeIToldUSo | GonnaBeIToldUSo

Woman struggles with taking care of disabled SIL. NTA offers solutions.

Image credit: Hideaways76 | Hideaways76
Hideaways76 | Hideaways76

Balancing care for disabled sister-in-law and three kids.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Caring for disabled sister-in-law not possible for family. NTA.

Image credit: teresajs | teresajs
teresajs | teresajs

You’re not the a**hole for not wanting to be a caretaker

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Suggests moving family closer or assisted living for SIL.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Assisted living facilities may be a better option

Image credit: workthendie | workthendie
workthendie | workthendie

Spouse promised to care for sister-in-law, now it’s a dealbreaker

Image credit: excoriator | excoriator
excoriator | excoriator

Huge commitment for anyone to take on. NTA.

Image credit: Mirianda666 | Mirianda666
Mirianda666 | Mirianda666

Insightful perspective on being a caregiver for a disabled spouse ‍

Image credit: 90sgrungechick | 90sgrungechick
90sgrungechick | 90sgrungechick

NTA. Don’t bring her into your home. Protect your family.

Image credit: Froot-Batz | Froot-Batz
Froot-Batz | Froot-Batz

NAH comment suggests seeking a solution, but replies disagree

Image credit: MsBaseball34 | MsBaseball34
MsBaseball34 | MsBaseball34

Will the brother quit his job to care? INFO needed

Image credit: Madam_Cholet | Madam_Cholet
Madam_Cholet | Madam_Cholet

A helpful NTA comment sharing a similar experience and suggesting alternative care.

Image credit: emmyy23 | emmyy23
emmyy23 | emmyy23

Husband tries to guilt wife into taking in disabled sister-in-law

Image credit: SauronOMordor | SauronOMordor
SauronOMordor | SauronOMordor

NAH. The husband wants to care for his sister, but communication is key.

Image credit: Axilllla | Axilllla
Axilllla | Axilllla

Husband wants disabled sister to live with them, but didn’t consider alternatives. NTA

Image credit: mandichaos | mandichaos
mandichaos | mandichaos

Commitment to caregiving should be discussed early in relationships. NTA

Image credit: rae919 | rae919
rae919 | rae919

Setting boundaries with disabled sister-in-law. NTA wins!

Image credit: fauxpasguy1234 | fauxpasguy1234
fauxpasguy1234 | fauxpasguy1234

Counseling recommended for couple facing dilemma of disabled family member.

Image credit: MadameBurner | MadameBurner
MadameBurner | MadameBurner

Newlywed couple facing unexpected financial and living situation.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Caring for someone with such needs is emotionally draining

Image credit: DannyDidNothinWrong | DannyDidNothinWrong
DannyDidNothinWrong | DannyDidNothinWrong

Finding a special needs facility is the best solution. NTA

Image credit: TX_Farmer | TX_Farmer
TX_Farmer | TX_Farmer

Ultimatum time for disabled sister-in-law living with them. NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA commenter advises against taking in disabled sister-in-law.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Spouse’s unwillingness to compromise on disabled sister-in-law is selfish

Image credit: Amkitty3204 | Amkitty3204
Amkitty3204 | Amkitty3204

Taking care of disabled sister-in-law could be a deal breaker

Image credit: soph_lurk_2018 | soph_lurk_2018
soph_lurk_2018 | soph_lurk_2018

NTA, but tough situation. Suggest couples counseling and pre-engagement discussions.

Image credit: insomniac29 | insomniac29
insomniac29 | insomniac29

Husband’s lack of foresight puts family in a tough spot

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Putting children’s happiness first. Don’t let guilt overpower logic.

Image credit: LordPotate | LordPotate
LordPotate | LordPotate

Find another way to care for disabled sister-in-law

Image credit: toomanyschnauzers | toomanyschnauzers
toomanyschnauzers | toomanyschnauzers

Don’t sacrifice your own life and happiness. NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Suggesting a group home for SIL, NTA comment is logical

Image credit: commandrix | commandrix
commandrix | commandrix

Couple should seek counseling to discuss unrealistic expectations.

Image credit: DiamondKitsune | DiamondKitsune
DiamondKitsune | DiamondKitsune

Living with disabled sister-in-law is a burden, husband TA

Image credit: shutup_rob | shutup_rob
shutup_rob | shutup_rob

NTA for not taking sister-in-law, but marriage may suffer

Image credit: mummaof3 | mummaof3
mummaof3 | mummaof3

Setting boundaries with family can be tough, even when necessary.

Image credit: slygoatwinkle | slygoatwinkle
slygoatwinkle | slygoatwinkle

NAH husband may have good intentions, but long-term solution needed.

Image credit: MilksUnicorns | MilksUnicorns
MilksUnicorns | MilksUnicorns
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