Imagine being faced with the most difficult decision of your life, one that goes against a promise you made to your dying wife. A man found himself in this heart-wrenching situation after losing his wife to cancer. His wife’s entire life revolved around their 30-year-old daughter with Down’s Syndrome, who requires constant care and supervision. On her deathbed, the wife made her husband promise to never let their daughter be placed in a state care facility. But now, two months after her passing, the man is struggling to keep that promise.
A Life Dedicated to Her Daughter
Years of Fear and Struggle
Friends Stop Visiting
Injuries and Caregivers
Seeking Help
A Mother’s Desperation
Turning to Any Possible Solution
The Deathbed Promise
Grief Fog Clears
Financial Struggles
Impact on Family
A Difficult Decision
Facing Criticism
A Struggle Between Love and Reality
This man’s story has touched the hearts of many, as he struggles to balance the love for his late wife and the reality of caring for their Down’s Syndrome daughter. After promising his wife on her deathbed to never put their daughter in a state care facility, he finds himself faced with the harsh reality of financial strain and the emotional toll it takes on him and his family. His grown children refuse to visit, and he’s left to make the most difficult decision of his life. Let’s see what the internet thinks of this heart-wrenching situation…
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Parent with Down syndrome child shares advice on future planning.
Stepdaughter’s fate debated by family, but who will take responsibility?
Heartbreaking comment about child’s grief after losing a parent
Empathetic comment acknowledges difficulty of situation.
Stepdaughter’s unrealistic expectations led to NTA’s tough decision.
Former in-laws blame man for breaking deathbed promise, comment defends NTA.
Breaking a deathbed promise is tough, but self-care matters too.
NTA for honoring deathbed promise, stepdaughter needed care earlier.
Former caregiver advises NTA, recommends continued support for wife’s care.
Breaking a deathbed promise is tough but self-care is important. NTA
Supportive comment encourages seeking professional help for loved one.
Care home for violent stepdaughter sounds reasonable, sorry for loss.
Nurse advises putting daughter in facility for safety and professional care
Don’t let others bring you down for doing what’s right ✌
Taking care of a violent and abusive person is not your responsibility. NTA
Compassionate commenter defends man’s decision to find care facility for child.
Putting a loved one in a home is tough. NTA.
Expert in the field recommends visiting family-style facilities for support
User defends man’s broken promise to wife due to stepdaughter’s behavior.
Stepdaughter’s behavior is unacceptable, NTA for prioritizing own life.
Heartbreaking comment shows empathy and support for tough decision. ❤️
Stepdaughter causes family tension, but he’s the ‘evil stepdad’?
NTA. Man prioritizes dying wife’s peace of mind over his own.
User suggests putting abusive step-daughter in state-run home
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Stepdaughter care not working out, find next best option. NTA
Caring for a disabled child is tough. Don’t judge.
Defending against attempted murder is NTA. ♂️
Stepdaughter’s well-being comes first, honor wife’s wishes
Caregiver receives backlash for considering group home for disabled daughter.
Keeping a deathbed promise isn’t always the kindest option.
Ensuring proper care for loved ones in facilities ❤
Advice on caring for loved ones in assisted living facilities
Caring for a difficult daughter after wife’s death: tough decision
Expert suggests group home may benefit wife’s specialized care. NTA.
Stand up for yourself and call out hypocrisy.
NTA. Move on and enjoy your life
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Caring for a loved one can be complicated and emotionally taxing ❤
Moving the stepdaughter to a trusted place may benefit both
Putting his wife in a facility doesn’t make him a bad person
Compassionate comment suggests options for stepdaughter’s care.
Sibling’s tough love leads to state placement and freedom.
Caring for a violent parent is traumatic. NTA for state care.
Professional care needed for difficult individuals. NTA.
Don’t feel guilty. State care can provide better 24-hour skilled care.
NTA for fulfilling promise to dying wife but don’t abandon stepdaughter.
Working in disabilities, commenter argues that the man is not the a**hole.
Candid account of the challenges of caring for a Downs child. NTA.
Seek professional advice for specialized care. Don’t blame yourself.
Choosing safety and care over abuse. NTA
Standing up for yourself and your safety is important.
State-run support may be better for her
User defends stepdad and criticizes long-term care facilities.
NTA: Comment defends OP against name-calling and lack of support.
Encouraging response to NTA’s step-daughter situation.
NTA. Taking care of someone with downs syndrome is a huge responsibility. It’s better for her to be in a good home.
Stepdaughter criticism shut down with practical suggestion
Family accuses him of being evil but won’t help. NTA
Caring for wife’s violent daughter wasn’t feasible, care home necessary. NTA
NTA prioritizes mental & physical health over family’s empty criticism
NTA. A success story of a board and care home.
Encouraging comment suggests seeking help for violent family member.
Programs like this can be life-changing for those who need it
Caring for a stepchild with disabilities: a daunting responsibility.
Caregiver’s tough decision sparks debate on family responsibilities.
Putting on your own oxygen mask first. NTA for seeking help.
Family criticizes stepdad for not caring for violent stepdaughter alone.
NTA. A care facility may be the best option for her. Spend time with her during family visits
NTA. Tough decision made out of love for wife and stepdaughter ❤
NTA. Commenter suggests late wife failed daughter, encourages self-care
Caregiver defends those unable to fulfill full-time caregiving responsibilities ❤
Hopeful comment suggests wife may forgive broken promise from beyond
Former in-laws should step up or shut up, empathetic comment.
Medication can help, but full-time caregiving is tough. NTA
Man struggles to keep promise to wife, family vilifies him.
A heartwarming tribute to a sister with Down’s Syndrome ❤
NTA commenter suggests a solution for OP’s wife’s care
Caring for an adult with special needs is tough. NTA
NTA caregiver for 25 years, family didn’t step up
Balancing autonomy and care: a middle ground for elderly care
Social worker offers support for those with IDD.
Savage reply to stepdaughter’s entitled demand.
Breaking deathbed promises is understandable. Suggestion to consult physician
Don’t let internet strangers guilt you for a difficult decision.
Parent of a special needs child defends man’s decision.
NTA defends breaking deathbed promise to care for disabled daughter.
Putting loved ones in professional care is sometimes necessary.
NTA. Planning for her daughter’s care was your wife’s responsibility
Group home may be better for stepdaughter and her caretaker.
Stepdaughter needs specialized care, NTA for prioritizing own safety.
Former social worker suggests appropriate housing options for wife’s care
Stepdaughter’s behavior deemed dangerous, NTA for considering facility placement.
A nurse shares her understanding and support for the daughter’s decision ❤️
NTA. Stepdaughter will be safe in state facility. Visit weekly
NTA. OP showed kindness to wife, but don’t ruin own life.
Defending a difficult decision: NTA, it’s a risky situation
Standing up to abuse, even from a loved one, is important ❤️
