30 Hard Truths About Bathing Suit Shopping

Diply 21 Jun 2017

Summer is upon us, and that means bathing suit season. For some people, that's amazing news. For the majority, it's a total nightmare.

Finding something that actually fits, constantly judging your body, or having to pay twice as much just to find top and bottom pieces that fit AND match... it's all so ridiculous.

1. Don't even get me started on a bikini-ready body, because it just ain't happening.

me.me | me.me

I think my favorite quote ever is, "How to have a bikini body: put a bikini on your body".

Of course, it's easier said than done, I'm afraid.

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2. It's really hard not to get down on yourself when you try on bathing suits.

Memes | Memes

It's the sad truth, and as much as we want to say, "Love yourself!", like I said, it's easier said than done. Sometimes it's okay to wallow in a bit of self-pity.

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3. Sometimes you can't even blame your lack of bikini body. 

Sizzle | Sizzle

Trying to find the right size can be a serious struggle. You have to keep in mind that the fabric tightens up when wet, which basically puts me into panic mode because it's tight enough as it is, and yeah... it's not a good time.

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4. When you think you find a suit that is going to fit, but when you try it on, it's actually a total disaster.

Giphy | Giphy

Sizing can get weird in swimsuit shops. Don't take it personally.

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5. When you finally find something that fits, it's going to cost you an arm and a leg.

Giphy | Giphy

True story: I was browsing through bikinis the other day and came across just a top that was $145.00. I threw up in my mouth a little and promptly left the store.

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6. Honestly, when it comes to deciding between a "bikini body" and tacos, I shouldn't have to tell you which to pick.

me.me | me.me

(Pssst. Here's a hint: tacos. Always, always, always tacos.)

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7. If you have a busty chest, the struggle of trying on swimsuits goes up to a whole different level.

Busty Girl Comics | Busty Girl Comics

Halter bikini tops can provide pretty decent support, but all the weight goes to your neck, and trust me on this, it really hurts.

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8. Finding a good fit usually involves digging through racks and racks of smaller sizes first.

All Over Albany | All Over Albany

And it makes you wonder: don't these stores realize that they're always selling out of the bigger sizes, and so why not make more to begin with?

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9. You're well aware that the cutest styles only come in the smallest sizes.

Busty Girl Comics | Busty Girl Comics

It's probably for the best. It only takes one falling-out-of-your-cup incident to remind you to stay in your lane.

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10. If your bikini top doesn't have an underwire and you're big chested, you can literally forget about wearing it. 

Giphy | Giphy

I really do wonder what's going through the company's head to create such a product, though. It makes no sense.

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11. Bathing suit companies are coming out with some pretty next level cutouts and designs.

Bright Side | Bright Side

Sure, it looks amazing on the model, but what average sized human would this actually look good on? No, for real, someone show me, please.

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12. A lot of the designs are just wasting your time. 

me.me | me.me

Like, obviously you're not going spend your actual hard-earned money to wear something so unrealistic and obnoxious. What are they thinking?

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13. No, seriously.

Heavy Heels | Heavy Heels

Some brands just don't realize that making impractical bathing suits is not a good idea. Nobody wants to wear something to the beach that poses a constant risk of falling out of your suit.

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14. It's actually ridiculous that the top piece of your bikini and the bottom piece are sold separately.

Giphy | Giphy

Apparently, it's so girls can "mix and match," but don't be fooled: it's all just one big money scam.

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15. Now, don't get me wrong.

Mission Local | Mission Local

I understand that you might need a bigger top and a smaller bottom (or vice versa), but you still shouldn't have to pay twice for it.

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16. Any tall girl who has never been able to fit into a romper knows that the struggle is real for trying on a one-piece.

Sizzle | Sizzle

Literally nothing fits, and if you go a size up, it's too wide on you. You're forever doomed to bikinis, sorry.

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17. I know you know that awful moment when something is a size too small, and nobody is around to get you the next size up. 

Tumblr | deardesigner

So then you have to put all your clothes on again just to go grab a better size, and it's just super annoying.

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18. Trying on bathing suits in general can get gross.

Giphy | Giphy

I know you're supposed to leave your underwear on while you do it, but that doesn't mean the person before you followed the rules. That's why I always reach for the suit at the back of the rack.

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19. And, of course, after spending hours browsing through all of the options, you finally find one that you love, and they're all sold out in your size.

Giphy | Giphy

This ALWAYS happens whenever you're shopping for anything you happen to fall in love with.

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20. Why don't people talk about white bathing suits more?

Good Housekeeping | Good Housekeeping

They make no sense to me. As soon as they get wet, they become see-through, and that's literally my worst nightmare.

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21. It's important to think about what kind of tan line (or sun burn) your new swimsuit is going to give you.

Sanrense | Sanrense

It's actually a major deciding factor when trying them on, and really annoying when you find something cute but realize that the aftermath would be out of control.

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22. You know what else is really annoying?

Love Street Apparel | Love Street Apparel

When your bathing suit ties up at the back or neck, and that's the only thing preventing a nip slip from happening. That's way too much trust for me. I'll take a clasp any day, thank you.

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23. Oh! And the same thing goes for when your bikini bottoms are held together by a tiny piece of string.

Pinterest | Alayna Gray

It's a dangerous, dangerous game to play, let me tell you.

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24. There are a ton of cute bathing suits on Pinterest and Instagram that are serious #goals.

Catster | Catster

The problem is that none of them are ever sold at your local mall. You only get the options of the same old occasionally fun patterned swimsuit. I want variety, please!

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25. Those one-piece bathing suits with really high-cut thighs look amazing on Baywatch, but in real life? I'll pass.

Just Watch | Just Watch

It just looks like it's riding up a little too much, and it feels awkward to wear.

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26. Selling a bathing suit without padding is just mean.

Giphy | Giphy

I don't like wearing a bathing suit to begin with, so can you please just give me as much padding and coverage as you possibly can?

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27. Has anyone else had that terrifying moment when you're in the middle of changing (and wearing nothing at all) and the sales associate knocks on the door?

Giphy | Giphy

It almost feels like an invasion of privacy, even though they're just doing their job and making sure that all is well. I still don't like it, though.

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28. And don't even get me started on trying on bathing suits in a changing room that has a curtain for a door.

Pinterest | Kitti Drake

Who thought that was a good idea? No, it doesn't make for a good aesthetic. It makes for a nervous shopper who is afraid of being exposed at any given time.

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29. Has anyone else been so frustrated with the entire process that they just give up?

Giphy | Giphy

I couldn't take it anymore and spent last summer wearing my old, chlorine-damaged bathing suit, because it was better than the alternative.

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30. Just know that trying on swimsuits is not an easy or enjoyable task, and you're not alone in thinking so.

Likecool | Likecool

What do you hate most when it comes to buying a bathing suit? COMMENT and let us know!

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