Don't hear what I'm not saying: swearing can be incredibly useful. At the right time and in the right place, a good curse word here and there drives the point home in a manner that remains unmatched.
However, there are those rare moments where wit cuts deeper than any profanity ever could. Have a look and check out these 15 insults that absolutely didn't need 'swear words.'
In other words, you can lead a stupid horse to water but you can't make the dumb beast take even a single sip. This sounds like something that my old English teacher would have said.
This is one of those straight-to-the-point quips that cuts to the bone. You're not just insulting one person, you're insulting everyone they've ever known all in one breath.
Best be sure to use it wisely.
"I once saw a comment that read, 'The bar was so low, it was practically a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are dancing limbo with the devil.'" - Reddit u/give_it_a_vodkashot
Absolutely no one knows how to burn quite like The Bard. This is one of, if not the most articulate and intelligent insults that I think I've ever come across.
"A guy who sat behind me in English class let out a fart that reverberated off the wooden seat. The whole class heard it. The teacher said, 'That’s the most intelligent thing you’ve said all year.'" - Reddit u/melbers22
I like a good simile insult and Reddit user BlueAndMoreBlue's is without a doubt one of the better ones you're likely to come across.
It'll really cut you up...get it?
Damn. This one hurts me and I've only ever experienced period cramps second-hand. How could you even attempt to clap back at someone if they came at you with this?
That does sound dangerously stupid. I wonder what Redditor MightyBeforeGod was doing at the time to warrant such a cutthroat insult being hurled in their direction. We want the context!
Few insults are more poetic than those of the great Oscar Wilde. It's precisely this kind of deep philosophical lament that it is likely to fly over the head of the unsuspecting dullard you're thrusting it upon without notice.
This is an absolute classic that never gets old. As mean as it sounds, my dad used to say this to my brother and me growing up all the time. Which explains a lot, now that I think of it...
This is one of my own personal favorites to throw at someone. Feel free to use it the next time you come face-to-face, just be ready to duck should the victim of your verbal onslaught decide to throw a punch.
This is what I like to call a "complisult" — it's a half compliment, half insult.
Say it quickly and with enough conviction, you may be able to walk away with the person thinking you were praising them.
"My favorite is, 'I think you should carry a potted plant to replace the oxygen you waste,'" Reddit user Cooldudeyo23 said.
Most of the people I know would need an entire forest.
"I had a teacher tell some kid "Nothing you have to say is of any consequence...to anyone." He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its [expletive] in unison." - Reddit u/glib_battling
I will go to my grave believing that The Sandlot has the greatest insult scenes in the history of film. Not a single curse word is spoken, but by god does it still pack a punch.
