Reddit

People Are Posting The Dumbest Things They've Ever Said

If you're in the mood for a good cringe sesh, we've got just the ticket.

Redditor u/marginalpotato posed the question: "What is the stupidest thing that ever came out of your mouth?"

As awkward as some of these replies are, they're also pretty hilarious. So kick back, relax, and be glad you didn't say these 10+ things!

I won't open up.

Unsplash | Caroline LM

Everyone knows how awkward it is to talk during a dentist appointment.

For this Redditor, it was even more awkward when they thought the dentist asked if them if they felt any pain and they said, "no." What they actually asked was for them to "open up."

The condolence.

"My neighbor was leaving for a funeral. A close family member had committed suicide by hanging. We talked for a bit. I gave her my condolences. Then as she was leaving I said 'Hang in there." - u/SmittentheKitten

The question.

NBC

"There was a guy walking towards me and said 'Hi can I ask you some questions?' And I said 'Sorry I don t have any.'" - u/LickTheSpoon69

Is it bad if we steal this for the next time someone tries to ask us a question?

We don't sell toilets.

Unsplash | Jan Antonin Kolar

One supermarket worker felt allll the cringe when someone asked them where the toilets were and they replied wth, "We don't sell toilets."

To be fair, they probably get asked a lot of questions every day.

The missing glasses.

"I got off a red-eye, very sleep-deprived, and realized I forgot my glasses on the plane. I asked the very kind gate agent if she could go check my seat to see if she could find them. While she was gone, I touched my face and felt my glasses. I was mortified and apologized profusely when she returned." -u/liam-itchy-dad

The family affair.

HBO

"I was student teaching and discussing my weekend plans to visit my cousin. One teacher said 'oh, you’re visiting your cousin? I thought you said you were going to visit your boyfriend.' In an attempt to gloss over his mistake and communicate the sentiment of 'no worries,' I instead shrugged and for some reason said 'same thing.'" -u/sullywhynot

The tax deduction.

NBC

One Redditor may have been rethinking their accounting career when they asked a client if she had any medical expenses for the year.

When she said that she had put her husband in a nursing home, they said, "THAT'S EXCELLENT! Big time deductions there..."

I'll have a McFluffy, please.

"Pulled up at Hungry Jacks drive thru, ordered nuggets and a McFluffy. Hysterical laughter over speaker, 'Ma'am it's a McFlurry, and this is Hungry Jacks.' My teenagers still bring it up." - u/thebunyiphunter

The dog brand.

"While out for a walk I admired a cute dog. I wanted to ask what breed it was but my brain wasn’t working. Instead I asked 'What brand is your dog?' which startled the owner, and myself. My attempt at correcting myself resulted in me blurting out 'Species!' which only made matters worse." - u/factchecker8515

Have a good number two.

Unsplash | Bernard Hermant

Have you ever left a store and had a cashier tell you, "have a good one"? Well, this casher accidentally said that when they unlocked the bathroom door for someone. LOL.

The BJ... restaurant.

"When I explained to my dad that 'My boyfriend really like BJs.' While they were both sitting there meeting each other for the first time. BJs is a restaurant chain where I live…" - u/ees3r

The brain fart.

Unsplash | Sebastian Coman Travel

"A couple of months ago, I got up and drove to work as usual. Later, my girlfriend texted me from home to ask me if she had left her sunglasses in my car. I told her I wasn't sure, but she could grab my spare key and go check. In my car. Which I had driven to work." - u/Devonai

Behold, I have made wine.

Unsplash | Maja Petric

This person was eating delicious table grapes when they asked their wife and friends, “Why haven’t they made booze out of these?”

... Basically, this person thought they were Jesus and created wine.

The accidental burn.

"In my freshman year of college, I was dorming next door to a couple cute girls. About a week into the first semester, one girl walked from the co-ed showers to her dorm room in her towel, still wet. We were both unlocking our doors to get in our rooms when she looks at me and says, 'I know I look stunning…' (sarcastically). To which I replied, 'Don’t flatter yourself.'" - u/Strongbad23

The rabbit dog.

Unsplash | Francis Delapena

"I was like 18 or 19 and thought the term 'rabid dog' was 'rabbit dog' and I said that out loud in a car with my friends. "I still remember the exact location we were driving by when it came out of my mouth because I felt so stupid." - u/Dangerous_Effort3355

Stay high.

When this person was giving a presentation about their club in high school, they wanted to invite people to come visit.

But instead of saying, "Stop by," or "Say hi," they said, "stay high." Was this on April 20th?

No thanks.

Unsplash | Clay Banks

"When the cashier said, 'Have a nice day,' and I replied with, 'No, thanks.'" - u/DreamerScreamers

This is kind of like when someone tells you to have a good workout or some other service they won't be partaking in and you tell them, "you, too." So. Awkward.

The smelly answer.

Unsplash | Xenia Bogarova

"I'm in this café to leave a bunch of flyers I made. As I'm leaving, the waitress tells me she likes my perfume. Normally, I'd pick up on this as sort of a chat-up line and politely diffuse, but because of COVID and a recent breakup, I'm just not in that mindset at all. So I just blurt out, 'Yeah, I put on extra because I didn't shower today. And I sweat a lot.'"- u/Leopold87

The poor advice.

Unsplash | Ivan Aleksic

"Chatting to a homeless guy on the street and he told me he was feeling unwell. I told him he should be at home, resting. It’s been 20 years and the memory of it still brings me out in a cold sweat." -u/pigadaki