12+ Outrageous Travel Complaints That Make Us Embarrassed To Be Human

Starting us off, we have a man who was angry that his flight from Jamaica to England took longer than another person's flight from Jamaica to America.

Do they still teach geography in school?

"They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach," one tourist wrote, "It was very distracting to my husband who just wanted to relax."

Ah, the old "bra strap in class" dilemma.

One honeymooning couple cut their vacation short because of an odd elephant incident.

"I spotted a visibly aroused elephant," the husband wrote, "Which was distracting because it made me feel inadequate."

I think I've officially heard it all.

One woman called the police claiming that she had been "locked in her hotel room," when in fact, she mistook the "do not disturb" sign on the inside of the door as a sign that she had to stay in her room.

I don't know about you, but I'm certainly disturbed.

A woman on yelp gave the resort she stayed in a one-star review because "the beach was too sandy."

I'm distraught. I need CPR.

Late last year, Martha Stewart made a very public complaint on Instagram about her less-than-adequate Uber experience.

"I ordered the most expensive version to pick me up on Fifth Avenue and 57th street in front of Tiffany's," she captioned her now-deleted Instagram post.

She complained that she had to walk to her Uber and was very specific about how long the car was driving east, west, north, and south.

"On top of it all, the car was a mess inside and out!!!!!!!!"

"We could not enjoy our tour as our guide was too ugly. You can't be expected to admire a beautiful view when you're staring at a face like his," read one complaint.

Cruel, and also super subjective. I bet there are lots of people who think that guy is handsome.

When a pair of friends saw a sign that said "no hairdressers at the resort," they came to the conclusion that they had been forced to wait for their drinks longer than anyone else because they were both hairdressers.

Damn, discrimination is really getting out of control.

One man left an angry review on a hotel website stating that because he and his wife had originally booked a room with two twin beds and were unexpectedly given a free upgrade for a room with one queen bed, that it is the hotel's fault that his wife is now pregnant.

Yep. A real life person made that argument.

"We bought Ray Ban sunglasses for five euros," a woman writes, "Only to find out that they were fake!"

I don't even know how to respond to that.

"No one told us we would have to bring our own swim suits and towels to the water park," a woman wrote, "we assumed it would be included in the price."

Oh yes, we provide you with the bathing suits but it is "bring-your-own-water."

This man decided to take a trip to India, and proceeded to complain that "there was nothing but curry" and that "all the food was too spicy."

In other news, I went to Texas and complained that all my food portions were too big.

Another complaint was about the animals at the local zoo. According to the traveler, "The animals at the zoo looked very sad and it made our children cry. Can't they train them to smile?"

They're trained not to try to eat you or your children. I think that's good enough.

This one is almost sad — one woman abroad complained that "The local women were too beautiful; it made me feel bad about myself."

Maybe your next trip should be one focused on self-love.

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' 3-bedroom suite," one woman wrote, "and ours was significantly smaller."

Also, water is wet!

One woman was upset because she was bitten by a mosquito, and her travel brochure did not mention mosquitoes.

On a scale from 1 to mosquito woman, how unrealistic are your expectations?

"The brochure promised a fully-equipped kitchen," a man writes, "But there was no egg-slicer."

I legitimately had to stop writing this article to go look up what the heck an egg-slicer even was.

This is what it is apparently. Incredibly vital.

Another person traveled to Spain and was confused as to why people spoke Spanish rather than English. This time, it was a Spanish-speaking taxi driver that got this couple riled up.

Better luck with Uber I guess?

"We found out that the sand at our vacation destination was not like the sand in the brochure," one woman wrote. "It was more yellow in real life."

Maybe a ski trip would be better for these folks?

A woman filed a complaint while on a trip that there was no air conditioning while she lined up outside to catch her boat.

Let me repeat.

No air conditioning outside.

How dare they!

"We could not read our guide book while on the tour bus because the roads were bumpy," a man wrote, "so we were unaware of a lot of the fun activities we could've done."

Gotta study for your test buddy.

One woman tried to carry six large pull-out luggage bags into the seating area of the plane with her, and was annoyed when she was informed that she would have to pay for them because "the sign said carry-on bags were free."

Needless to say, she got a little carried away.

A traveling college student wrote a blog post about how inconvenient the Spanish tradition of Siesta was to her while she was in Spain. "It's lazy," she wrote, "how am I supposed to buy things?"

Some people are just better-suited to inner-state travel.

"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel," one reviewer wrote.

How dare crowds make noise on a trip!

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

Attention: all brochures should include local convenience store cuisine!

"A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time."

Unpopular opinion: gravy is just very thick soup.

"No one told us there would be fish in the water," explained a mother after taking her family on an ocean beach trip, "the children were scared."

You know what? I think that one takes the lake.

One traveler complained that the travel agency had said that the town was next to a volcano, but when they went "there was no lava. I'm pretty sure it was just a mountain."

Yes, I'm sure the travel agency is very sorry that you didn't get killed by lava.

Reddit user Rainbowfrapp detailed how people complain about bad weather, even though, surprise! Bad weather happens everywhere!

Someone once left a review saying, "avoid Amsterdam — it rained all week!"

Beckadee on Reddit had another horror story about a volunteer missionary worker complaining about their trip to Nairobi. The worker said, "I just felt so disappointed, they had so many more modern amenities than I expected; you could even go into supermarkets and buy regular American food. It was quite disappointing, I expected to be able to do more for them."

Excuse me?! They weren't badly enough off for you?

Reddit user Beckadee said a traveler from London once complained that Malawi was "just so far away from home and so hot."

Maybe you should've just stayed home!

"Our sons snuck into the closed swimming pool on our winter holiday and became very ill. They should have more secure fences," one person complained.

Your kids misbehaving is probably not a concern of the hotel.

One couple complained that "the breakfast buffet closed at 11:30, and we're heavy sleepers so we missed it every day."

11:30 actually seems pretty reasonable for a breakfast buffet. That's basically a brunch buffet. Just set an alarm!

"The food was so cheap, by the time we got home I'd put on half a stone."

It's amazing the number of people who think their own spending habits are anyone else's problems!

Reddit user Arya_kidding_me said the travel agency they worked for once received a complaint that the "nature noises" were being played over the speaker too loud, and they wanted to know if the resort could turn them down.

They weren't being played over a speaker. They were real nature noises. The complainer "refused to believe frogs, crickets, etc could be that loud on their own."

Juricajourneys shared that during their time at the front desk of a Disney hotel, while Florida was being destroyed by wildfires, that "The number of guests complaining about the smoke smell while the locals they were worried about their homes was astronomical."

Entitlement and selfishness smell worse than smoke.

"You told us there was a rooftop pool, but above us was just another room."

This person needs to learn the difference between a "ceiling" and a "roof." They also should have probably just kept going up.

Reddit user MizukiYumeko has a few stories from their time as a travel agent.

"A family of five was staying at a hotel on the wrong side of a one way street. They told us it was too far for them to walk across the street for their bus pickup. They were going on a hiking tour."

"Someone asked if they could get a refund for canceling their tour because the forecast said it was going to rain. Their tour was two weeks away."

People really think that there are some outside forces controlling the weather.

One traveler complained that in their hotel, "the sauna was too hot."

Dear future complainers, please google the definition for the word "sauna." We'll wait.

"I went swimming in the sea and a fish touched my foot. Nobody warned me about the fish in the sea."

Yet another person who couldn't believe that a natural body of water might have fish in it. God forbid!

A travel agency received a complaint that, "Our holiday wasn't long enough for us but it cost more to change our flights and stay longer."

I can't believe they didn't get MORE holiday for the same price! What is the world coming to?

One hotel received a complaint about their advertised ‘homey feel’. The guest apparently said it was nothing at all like their actual house.

I don't think those words mean what you think they mean.

"There was no sign telling you that you shouldn’t get on the hot air balloon ride if you’re afraid of heights."

And could you believe it, there wasn't a sign saying don't go in the water if you don't know how to swim!

One traveler complained, "I spent a whole week on safari, and didn’t see any good animals. There was only a load of antelopes."

How dare they insult antelopes like that.

Reddit user kaitybubbly listed a few negative reviews on an all-inclusive resort, including "The beach is too sandy. It was too sunny and my husband got a sunburn. The ocean was too salty."

Looks like maybe this person did not actually want to go to a beach.

"Nowhere served Full English Breakfast. Won't be returning to Thailand again; will stick to Spain from now on."

Ah, yes. The famous Spanish Full English Breakfast. A real delicacy.

Reddit user m2mayhem received a complaint once that "a culturally thriving hotel in rural Ocho Rios, Jamaica was outdated due to and I quote 'the phone still had cord on it' and 'there was no HD or flatscreen TVs anywhere, not in the rooms or lobby'."

"Our flight left Heathrow at 07:55, and they told us the flight was 2 hours. But when we landed it was 10:55, making us miss our connection. The pilot didn’t even tell us we were delayed."

I think this person might need to google what time zones are.