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Expecting Mom Says She Will Not Accept Hand-Me-Downs At Her Baby Shower

When new moms are expecting their first baby, they quickly realize one thing is for sure: baby items are expensive. From baby clothing to supplies, companies price some of the items pretty high for things that will be unusable within a few weeks to a few months. Think about it — how quickly do infants grow out of their clothing? Pretty fast!

That's why many people accept and appreciate hand-me-downs from family and friends for their children.

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Instead of buying new clothing and items all the time, some people appreciate friends and family who are quick to give away things they no longer need or use.

However, some people are not so quick to take and accept hand-me-downs.

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Some parents don't really want hand-me-downs from anyone for their children. Like this one Reddit user who asked if she was an "asshole" for "not allowing" hand-me-down gifts for her baby.

The mom explained that her baby would be the first baby in the family in 13 years.

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"I'm the youngest of my cousins in my family by a lot, and I'm having my first child at a very old age for my family (35). Due to this, my cousins all had their kids ages ago. The youngest of my cousins' kids was born when I was 22 years old. That was THIRTEEN years ago," she wrote.

Therefore, she doesn't want anything given to her or her baby that isn't "new."

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"I realize that in many families getting hand-me-down things is a rite of passage, but with how old any hand-me-downs would have to be in this case and just how long they would have had to sit in God knows what conditions to come to me, I honestly don't want anything that isn't new," she added.

Although, she did say she will take some things that are not made from fabric.

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"I accepted a wooden cradle from my husband's family, but that's different because it isn't fabric, but my family would only be giving away fabric hand-me-downs," she added to the post.

According to the soon-to-be mother, the reason behind this rule is a traumatic experience with blankets from her childhood.

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"My mother made baby blankets when I was a teenager, but after just 5 years of being stored in the attic, they were found covered in mold and mouse droppings and bugs," she said.

Therefore, she put on her baby shower invites she will not be accepting "any hand-me-downs."

Now, she's saying her family and friends are calling her "greedy and materialistic" for her decision. She asked the Reddit community if she was wrong for her decision to proclaim she will not accept hand-me-downs.

Many said she was being rude, as it really all depends on how the clothing and items are stored.

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"Clothes that [are] old if stored properly are fine. We have clothes from when our now adult kids were little 20 years ago. They have been in storage bins the entire time. Those blankets weren't stored properly, so that's how they got moldy and mouse droppings on them," one person said.

Others said it's a bad look to say "no" to someone who is giving a gift.

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"So rude to say 'don't give me any hand-me-downs', take what you get and be thankful. If you don't want it then wash it and donate it (provided it isn't some heirloom). Also, hand-me-downs are perfectly fine it depends on how they were stored, your mom didn't do a good job with it that doesn't mean everyone else will do a bad job," another user added.

However, many were genuinely curious if giving hand-me-downs at a shower was a normal occurrence.

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"I’m also curious how many people actually gift hand me downs at a shower? Not only was it tacky to put it in the invitation but I’m wondering if it was even necessary?

"And for the ones that do, exactly this, just accept them graciously and deal with them later," one person said.

One person added that this mom is showcasing that she has very low expectations of her friends and family.

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"Not only are you turning your nose up before even getting gifts, you're stating that you don't think your family has enough sense to determine if something is still in good condition. Do you just assume they'll gift you stained, moldy items? That isn't giving them much credit," someone added.

One Reddit user pointed out that hand-me-downs for certain things can, however, be dangerous.

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"Just an FYI a 40-year-old crib is much more of an issue than old clothes. Safety standards are vastly different and you will be putting your child in danger if you use it," one person said.

Some people, also, understood where the soon-to-be mom was coming from.

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"I completely see where you are coming from but I can also understand that you are coming across a little snobbish at a time when many people are struggling financially.

"Maybe you could have said something like ‘please don’t gift me hand me down clothes and blankets as we have so many of these items already,'" one person suggested.

Many felt, in the vast majority, that including the rule on the invites was where this expecting mom failed.

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"It's tacky to put that on the invitations. Nowadays it it acceptable to include information about the registry in the invitations. You should have stuck with that," someone added in the comments.

What's your take on this situation?