Diply

Quotes For People Who Look At Serving Sizes When They Need A Good Laugh

Updated August 16, 2021

As I sit here preparing to write this, I can't stop thinking about the bag of tortilla chips I have sitting in my pantry that I'm pretty sure is calling my name right now... Y'all ever get so hungry you can actually hear your food begging you to come eat it? Yeah, same.

But when I go out to finally answer that bag and pour myself a nice little bowl of chips, do you think I'm going to look at the suggested serving size? No sir, no way. That's a fool's game, and my mom definitely didn't raise a fool.

If you're also the kind of person who only looks at that nonsense when you need a good laugh, I think you're really going to enjoy these quotes.

Oreos, you have my heart forever.

It's not listed here, but I will also accept #4 - give me money to go buy food, because then I can decide what I want for myself and don't have to deal with you complaining that I'm spending your money on Taco Bell.

That's it, that's the message.

Every day I thank all the stars in heaven that I am not lactose intolerant because what would my life be without cheese, glorious cheese? Not a life worth living, that's for damn sure.

Although who are we kidding? Even if I were lactose intolerant, you'd still catch me melting cheese over stuff, knowing fully well I'll have to deal with the gassy consequences later.

The name is awfully misleading.

I actually consider fully candy bars to be the "fun-size" versions. You can go ahead and call those mini ones the "disappointing-size" or maybe even "pointless size" because no one ever felt satisfied after eating a nugget's worth of a Kit Kat bar, you feel me?

And maybe I'll grab some dip while I'm weighing my snack options, too.

I'm confident that those calories consumed while snacking in the pantry don't count.

It doesn't matter how many handfuls of chips I just shoveled into my face while trying to decide if I wanted to eat the BBQ ones or plain — those are empty calories, as far as I'm concerned. The real ones come when I grab both bags and had back to the couch.