Sometimes in our lives, we go through situations that we just don't know how to handle.
Whether it's with family, friends, or our significant other, we aren't 100% sure what our next step should be. So we seek outside advice from others on how we should handle the awkward, uncomfortable, and even confusing situations that come our way.
I always say the best advice you can get in any situation is from a complete stranger. They don't know you and have no investment in your life, so they'll always be objective.
The woman had sent her daughter to spend some time with her own mother, her daughter's grandmother. She even sent her daughter with some money to help Grandma cover the expenses of the trip.
The grandmother sent her granddaughter home with an "invoice" for her daughter to pay.
Frustrated and unsure of what to do in this situation, she wrote into "Ask Amy" of The Washington Post.
"Upon my daughter’s return, my mother sent me an invoice for $475.50 for additional expenses, including the cost of gas to and from the airport to transport her (45 minutes away), train tickets to go to the city to a museum and the cost of the museum admission. It was an itemized bill," she said.
"This is hurtful, as this past winter my mother came to live with us for four months and we paid for everything, including a nice vacation to an island over Christmas. (Neither of my siblings has a relationship with my mother because she is petty and doesn’t respect boundaries — like a $300 budget)," she added.
"How do I address her behavior? I am hurt and angry by her decision to charge me for gas to pick up her granddaughter from the airport, as well as the other expenses," the mom said.
"My mother is a single woman (a retired college professor), and we have never asked her to pay for anything. We even write her a check for groceries when she hosts Thanksgiving dinner," she said.
"Now I feel she has taken advantage of my generosity, and I don’t trust her to spend time with my daughter because it is just too costly for me (financially and emotionally)," she said.
She even signed her letter to Amy as "Burned by Grandma."
Amy's first piece of advice? This woman needed to have a straightforward and honest discussion with her mother about money.
"You are going to have to express your concern directly to your mother. Your daughter’s trip to see Grammy has cost you (I’m estimating) around $1,000, with plane tickets, plus the invoiced expenses incurred while she was there," she started.
"Is your mother financially insecure? Is she worried about maintaining her own lifestyle in retirement? These are legitimate concerns," Amy said.
"But is there a legitimate reason she couldn’t stay within the reasonable $300 budget, spending over twice that amount? Is this itemized bill her passive-aggressive way of telling you that she doesn’t actually want to host your daughter for such a long visit?" she asked.
"After you communicate your questions and concerns to your mother, you will have to make the tough decision about future visits," Amy said.
"Because your mother seems to communicate through monetizing relationships, you’ll simply have to decide whether this relationship between grandmother and granddaughter is one you can afford to foster," Amy concluded.
What would you do if this was your mother? Would you cut the relationship off?
h/t: The Washington Post
