20 Times People On Nextdoor Went Completely Bonkers

D
Star Wars flag
twitter | @bestofnextdoor

Are you on Nextdoor?

Wait, wait. We're not trying to get you to join this social media app that's based on neighborhoods. Instead, we have a far more important mission for you: can you tell us what the deal is with Nextdoor?

Based on what we've seen from the @bestofnextdoor Twitter account, it seems like the app is a lawless and confusing place.

A likely story.

Honestly, this story hangs together and may very well be true. It's also something a murderer might say to cover up for the fact that a lot of screaming is emanating from their place. I guess it's good to give your neighbors a heads up?

It's a common occurrence.

As annoying as it is when you get ding-dong-ditched, there's not much you can do about it. There's even less you can do when the perpetrator gallops off on a horse — or multiple people on a horse (or did they have their own horses?).

Sir or ma'am, that isn't a dog.

I'm not doubting that there's a big, scary dog behind that fence. All I'm saying is that this picture doesn't show a dog. It shows a fence, which is very much not a dog.

Approximately how many dogs do you own?

I like how this person casts a wider net by not getting too specific about how many dogs they've spotted. Also, that doesn't look anything like a dog, which only raises more questions.

Send this person to the burn unit.

Parents, take note: not everything you find in your kid's room is drugs. Sometimes, it's aloe vera. It's good for burns, like the burn you'll experience after your kid roasts you for being so dumb.

Hi, George.

This is a little weird, sure, but I'm putting it up here because it's wholesome. Nextdoor is either toxic or bewildering, so it's nice to take a little break for something like this. George is always welcome around here.

Things escalated fast.

Is Linda suggesting that a book exists that will adequately explain why helicopters are currently circling around near Annah's house? And I know that Kathryn was a little harsh, but I'm not sure it was unjustified.

Take that, Publix.

Most people either grudgingly accept that they'll get ID'd from time to time, or they're delighted that the cashier thinks they're young enough to need to show their ID. Some people, though, are like this — and I'm not sure this is what Nextdoor is for.

Send this one all the way to Google.

I have mixed feelings about old people struggling with tech. On one hand, it can be quite funny. On the other, it feels wrong to laugh at them. Well, wrong with a side of headache.

We're now entering the poll realm.

Strap yourselves in, because it seems like all polls on Nextdoor are either broken, or Nextdoor's users don't know how to properly implement them. I guess there's a distinction between 'curious' and 'what to know.'

Option 3 in a landslide.

I see what's going on here. This person realized they'd formatted their post wrong, but they'd come too far to go back and change it. Fortunately, everyone agrees that the poll format was wrong.

Do they exist?

If this poll is to be believed, you can either have someone who's reliable and honest but not necessarily handy, or an undefined but excited handyman, but you can't have both. For what it's worth, "Handyman!!" wins.

Which do you prefer?

On one hand, signatures are the fastest way to put your mark on something. On the other, emails are a good way to communicate your thoughts to someone. Will anything ever solve this age-old debate?

What?

This is another baffling poll. Both answers are virtually the same, but it's nice to see that respondents voted for the one with correct spelling. Well, the majority of them did. But 12% of the eight votes is still kind of troubling.

This is a close one.

Why are you moving out of Independence? It has to be because of Moving, or possibly because of Where are you moving. There are no other options. Certainly can't be because of independence.

Guess that settles that.

This poor person just wanted to buy secondhand rather than make a trip to PetSmart, but they're being frozen out by their neighbors. Or at least by two of them so far. Tough break.

That seems a tad extreme.

I've got one of those driveways that's popular for people to turn around in. I'm not crazy about it, but what can you do? I used to think there was no recourse, but if I follow Vicki's lead, it might get interesting.

Chemical warfare.

This one has to be fake, right? I mean, it isn't outside the realm of possibility for someone to fart in a mailbox. I just have trouble believing that this rogue farter has the ability to make the mail smell bad for more than a few seconds.

Should anyone tell them?

Now I'm no expert, but this has to refer to the lower outlet of a two-outlet wall socket, right? Diply's a family site, so that's what I'm going with. And again, not sure a poll was the right way to approach the question.

Hate has no place here.

I get that sometimes neighbors fly problematic flags, but this person really needs to learn about what happened in a galaxy far, far away a long, long time ago.