Two pairs of hands holding each other.
Unsplash | Hannah Busing

20 Tweets Showing That Marriage Can Be A Game Of Increasing Pettiness

Being married to the person you love is a wonderful thing. After all, you decided to tie the knot and be in each other's lives forever.

But that doesn't mean that your spouse won't get on your nerves from time to time. In fact, it would be kind of weird if your partner didn't get on your nerves ever. Needless to say, these hilarious Tweets really show what married life can be like.

A lifetime of abandoned hobbies.

True love is doing things for your spouse that'll make them smile. Even if that moment of happiness is short-lived, and that gift you got them is going to collect dust in the basement.

Always gotta keep it exciting.

Being married means being comfortable enough around someone that you can use the bathroom while they're close by. I guess it also means not being embarrassed when they have to flush the toilet for you.

Literally never!

I'm definitely team "no, you can take that bug out and never let me see it." In fact, I feel like that's the team most of us are on.

Some advanced warning next time, please!

I mean, at least the husband told her at before they actually stepped inside the house. Better late than never, even if late is actually too late.

Marriage is a two-way street.

Funny enough, this is also what you ask your kids and your pets on a daily basis. At least with a spouse, they can give you a coherent answer. Most of the time.

There are worse people to marry, I guess.

I think that's cute, even though no amount of singing would get most people to want to clean.

It's called compromise.

I swear, in every married couple, there's always one who doesn't know how to load the dishwasher properly. But on the plus side, at least they're both putting in equal work.

"Yeah, so about that one thing you really wanted..."

Grocery shopping for married couples is weirdly a lot like loading the dishwasher. There's always one who does it, and one who does it wrong, and sometimes the one who does it and does it wrong is the same person.

Oh how the turn tables—

The real question here is: is he right, or did his wife just decide she didn't want to argue anymore and took the path of least resistance?

"Leave all your questions for the new wife."

Loving someone means putting up with the fact that they constantly talk to you during movies. But that doesn't mean you have to answer all the questions they keep asking you.

Somebody call a doctor for that burn.

I have to admit, that's pretty funny. This guy's wife saw the opportunity and took it. At least it was all in good fun.

But she never answered the question.

You know what? If your spouse spends their day telling you terrible jokes and puns, and that's the most annoying thing about them, I consider that a pretty successful relationship.

No one must ever know.

All you have to do is tell him to look in some impossible place, sneak out, buy more chocolate at the store, and replace it when he isn't looking. Problem solved!

Now wait just one minute!

I guess the only way to get back at a husband who annoys you with questions while you're watching your thing is to do it back. With questions that you know are going to get him all riled up.

The unbreakable bond.

Okay but for real, air fryers are literally the best invention ever. They have the power to save marriages, mend the relationships between parents and their children, and make really good fried chicken. Don't ask how they do all of that.

Way to temper expectations.

To be honest, driving a Zamboni seems like it would be really hard, so maybe the husband took it as a compliment. Hopefully.

Top secret information.

I bet you anything his wife told him, "you decide." But it doesn't look like he's falling for that trap.

And then he wonders why you never pick up.

Being annoyed by your spouse in person is bad enough, so I guess you need a break from them in cyber space from time to time. It's so cute when nicknames from dating stick around into marriage, isn't it?

He might want to get that checked out.

I guess there's a good chance that you're going to end up marrying someone who snores. Or maybe you're the one who snores. Either way, somebody is going to say "I don't snore" every day, and that somebody is a liar.

Next level petty.

I guess this isn't the worst thing you could do to your spouse, but man would that annoy the hell out of me! My thoughts are with that wife in these trying times.