14 Total Savages Who Are Probably Better Off In The Wild

Diply 17 Apr 2018

Have you ever been the victim of an act of savagery?

Sometimes, being a savage is nothing more than some good old-fashioned trolling. But other times, it means that you might not be fit for society anymore. Maybe you can live with the trees and animals, but there are some crimes even Mother Nature might not even forgive.

1. Like the heartless individual who decided to name these things "muffin tamers."

Reddit | skishark

I get that Spanx are a brand name and not the product itself, but aren't they just the Q-Tip or Kleenex of slimming shorts? Did anyone even know there's a name worse than Spanx?

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2. As soon as I caught myself laughing, I realized I'm no better than anyone on this list.

Instagram | @gymmemesofficial

I've gone into McDonald's at 3 a.m. to throw extra cheese and bacon on a burger, but I always say no when they ask me to donate a dollar at the supermarket.

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3. I love that this person even pointed out the size of the wrench they'd need to fix the bed. I wonder if the sex was just that loud, or if they've got super hearing?

Reddit | klarson11

Either way, congratulations to everyone involved.

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I guess this is actually good news for me, because I have a super sensitive neighbor living below my apartment.

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So either they think I'm having incredible morning sex, or they know I just throw a tantrum every morning before work.

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4. Not only does this guy not skip leg day, I think he takes three butt days a week.

Instagram | Instagram

Just saying though, couldn't he have handled the last bag without using his butt?

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It sucks carrying a ton of groceries, circulation in your hands fading by the minute...

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And on those days, I hear this song in my head. I can only imagine the chorus if I had another bag between my cheeks.

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5. I'm guessing this clapback is on the menu because of a few lost onion rings way back in the day.

Reddit | doozy_boozy

Either way, it's sure to be a hot seller.

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6. Dude, I can see the utensils on your tray. Why?

Reddit | muffinoverlord

Is there some kind of floor spice on the inside of your sock that adds a missing flavor to your food?

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7. Wow. I mean, how? I mean, yow. This is the most inconvenient set of fingernails for anything but a cheese platter.

Reddit | DecentLeftovers

You'd be eating noodles off your own foot in a week.

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8. That sucks, but at least it's a terrible kindness.

Reddit | 3arlight

And you know anyone who asks you to combine bad news isn't going to freak out, no matter what you tell them.

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9. I don't know if this was just a distraction technique or what, but it seems to have worked.

Reddit | indi_n0rd

It's weird, and I'm sure a lot of people were against it, but frankly, I think the kid's a genius.

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10. Sure, it's a bizarre take on a Nickelodeon character, but I fully approve of gender bending Nigel Thornberry as a total babe.

Reddit | bubstheaxi

Although the teeth, as always, will give me nightmares.

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I can't think of a lot of scenes that couldn't use a quick cameo from the glassy-eyed stare of that ginger lunatic.

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It's becoming a problem for the people I work with.

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11. Again, just like the Spanx: You didn't need to label this so precisely. We know what some people are going to use them for, isn't that enough?

Reddit | VibrateVibrateVibe

Apparently not for the savage who labeled these.

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12. I actually would love to see this work in real life. It'd probably stop more fights than it starts, right?

Reddit | atticuslafyra

Who could stay mad at someone making adorable whale noises at them?

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13. Here, we have a rare example of a wild animal who's better off in human society.

Reddit | Katya_qi

Say what you want, but at least he's not manspreading and taking up more than one seat.

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14. OK, this is the last straw. I wasn't even talking about this kind of savage, but this is completely uncivilized.

Reddit | totalinfonet

I can hear the sound this makes in the mud, and now I have to go take all the showers forever.

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