You don't need to open a cursed book of dark magic or walk headfirst into an alien egg to have a bad day. Did you know that evil is conveniently all around us, every day?
If you're getting scared for real by anything on your TV, you need to get with the program, because that big old world out there is way worse than whatever Hollywood producers come up with. Hell, these days, Hollywood producers are scarier than half of what winds up on the screen.
So what, you don't believe me? How about these bone-chilling scenarios?
You were at an event that had glitter on something, and a tiny bit of it wound up on your jacket.
No wonder science wants to ban that awful substance. It's basically crystallized demon-seed.
If you didn't think pigeons were already the devil, you've been wrong your whole life and I'm sorry to have to break it to you.
Worst fear. No more, please.