Listen, I spend a lot of time on this here website putting together the funniest lists I can. A lot of the time, that means things can have a bit of an edge to them, so I thought, "Hey, let's just put together a bunch of pictures that'll probably make somebody's day." So, yeah, I'm looking to change your life just a little bit by making today as nice as possible. 

Advertisement

1. Cancel every single one of your plans because you need to stop and stare at this tape measure that looks a lot like Mr. T.

1. Cancel every single one of your plans because you need to stop and stare at this tape measure that looks a lot like Mr. T.
Reddit |  roger_smith999

I'm trying to come up with a joke that doesn't start with "I pity the fool," but I'm coming up a bit...short?

2. My biggest regret in life is that I wasn't at this Oscar party.

2. My biggest regret in life is that I wasn't at this Oscar party.
Reddit |  WildcatEngineer13

I love the fact that that somewhere in the world, there is a 62-year-old woman who went out of her way to dress up like the fish guy from The Shape of Water. Be still, my heart.

Advertisement

3. Every so often, it's nice to remember that, at the end of the day, celebrities are just like us.

3. Every so often, it's nice to remember that, at the end of the day, celebrities are just like us.
Twitter |  @hitRECordJoe

Except for the fact that they can afford three McFlurries. And that they look 16 at the age of 37. Okay, fine, I'm nothing like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, alright? You broke me.

4. I'm 95% sure this is what it would look like if David Hasselhoff was turned into a dog.

4. I'm 95% sure this is what it would look like if David Hasselhoff was turned into a dog.
Reddit |  PoochofNYC

And, as a bonus, it's nice to see that someone finally settled the debate about what it would look like if a dog was wearing pants.

Advertisement

5. This whole time, I've been gunning for a promotion, but I see I should set some better goals for work.

5. This whole time, I've been gunning for a promotion, but I see I should set some better goals for work.
Reddit |  herbertholmes

The only problem is, once you've made Calvin and Hobbes pixel art out of Post-it notes, there's nowhere to go but down.

6. I know exactly what I want to do for my next birthday.

The bubble thing is cool, but I'm also very, very curious about that smoke ring cannon in the background.

Advertisement

7. I. Was. Groooooot.

7. I. Was. Groooooot.
Reddit |  Wolfie2244

On the one hand, it would be amazing to find a popular superhero hidden in your desk. On the other hand, it's a bummer to think about how Groot ended up there.

8. This person is just winning at life. They're exercising and creating public art.

8. This person is just winning at life. They're exercising andcreating public art.
Imgur |  alreadyboredjpg

Quite frankly, this person is just too good at life. I hate them and won't dignify them with any more words about them.

Advertisement

9. I am here for the nerve of this here gentleman.

9. I am herefor the nerve of this here gentleman.
Imgur |  salindo

Imagine being so scared of your mom that you'd rather steal her clothes than ask for her to come to the school to get your phone back. I really need to know if this worked.

10. Whoever said that the skills you learn in sports aren't transferable to the rest of life has clearly never seen this guy spit out gum.

That near miss took me on a real roller coaster ride of emotion.

Advertisement

11. This is the level of not giving a darn that I aspire to achieve in my daily life.

11. This is the level of not giving a darn that I aspire to achieve in my daily life.
Imgur |  AngeCa

It shows you care because you got the stamp made in the first place, but you only care the bare minimum.

12. Everybody's good at something. It's the brave among us that put it out into the world.

12. Everybody's good at something. It's the brave among us that put it out into the world.
Imgur |  thegodofhotsauce

I bet you didn't even know you wanted a tattoo like this before you saw the picture and now you want three.

Advertisement

13. This whole time, you never realized that you were actually partying at 33.3% of your maximum fun potential.

Because the only way to take your party to the next level is through math.

14. Why is this dog so talented? Look at it go!

Listen, I don't normally get to put a whole lot of cute animal stuff in these articles, so you can bet your behind that I'm going to take full advantage.

Advertisement

15. Of all the things Greg caught while he was out fishing, he never thought that happiness would be one of them.

15. Of all the things Greg caught while he was out fishing, he never thought that happiness would be one of them.
Reddit |  rats-in-parachutes

Do fish actually taste the water they're swimming through? I'm about to go down a rabbit hole with Google, aren't I?

16. Given the choice, if I could have either of these creatures as my Patronus, I'd choose the girl.

16. Given the choice, if I could have either of these creatures as my Patronus, I'd choose the girl.
Twitter |  @RebeccaSlatkin

Are you telling me a Dementor could stare that girl in the face and not give up, and then head back to Azkaban?

My apologies to anyone reading this caption who's never read Harry Potter.

Advertisement

17. Yeah, I'm gonna need a one-way ticket to Vietnam, please.

Besides, who are you going to trust to tell you about the quality of fish? Some human that also eats beef and chicken? Please. You need an expert.

18. Sometimes, winning isn't the greatest victory after all.

I like to imagine this girl pulls this all the time. She just runs up at the last minute and looks disappointed. Meanwhile, she's in possession of a horde of baseballs like some kind of baseball dragon.

Advertisement

19. So often, a wrong number can go terribly, terribly wrong. But sometimes, it just ends up wholesome.

19. So often, a wrong number can go terribly, terribly wrong. But sometimes, it just ends up wholesome.
Twitter |  @bbymandi

Imagine getting the approval of five random strangers you've never met. The closest I ever got was that time Rebekah slid into my DMs because she thought I was funny. Hi Rebekah.

20. Swap out the bird for a picture I spent wayyyyyyy too long taking and this is basically my Tinder profile.

I'm also considering using "Green Cheek Conure" as my next band name.

Advertisement

21. I have never felt more secure in my entire life.

Look at him. He's just doing his best. But he doesn't do it for the attention, he does it just because he respects the job.

22. Did you know that in England, they call French fries "super-duper long potatoes"?

22. Did you know that in England, they call French fries "super-duper long potatoes"?
Reddit |  the_purple_bottle

Over there, having fries be less than 10 inches long is punishable by having your teatime privileges revoked.

Advertisement

23. When I open up my phone and realize I'm getting shaded in the group chat.

And by "group chat," I mean our office Slack channel, where everybody's mean to me all the time.

24. Cats are a mystery of physics in that they can occupy both a liquid and a solid state, alternating at will.

24. Cats are a mystery of physics in that they can occupy both a liquid and a solid state, alternating at will.
Reddit |  shadowmalice89

Scientists have been encouraging them try out a gas state, but so far, the results have been...let's just say, unpleasant.

Advertisement