16 Times People Overheard The Snarkiest Comebacks

Diply 29 Aug 2018

Sometimes, you overhear someone say something so funny, so snarky that you don't know how to handle it. Kids say the funniest things, and part of the reason it's so funny is because they don't know what they're saying. Adults are blunt and to the point, and their honesty is often hilarious and refreshing. These people shared the snarkiest comments they've ever overheard, and we absolutely love them.

1. This is the best way to hilariously admit you failed.

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"I heard an older gentleman of about 60 say on the phone while walking off the golf course 'I only hit two balls today, and that was when I stepped on a rake.'"

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2. I can hardly pee when someone else is in the bathroom, let alone if we are right next to each other.

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"As I was leaving the bathroom I heard a man say 'Urinal conversation is alright as long as the guy doesn't compliment you on your watch.'"

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3. I'd smack someone if they said this to me.

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"Friend: 'What are you up to?'

Me: 'Standing around looking pretty.'

His brother who I've never met nor been introduced to: 'When are you going to start?'"

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4. Sometimes kids say the funniest things and don't even realize it.

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"Overheard a 4th grader say, 'issues? He doesn't have issues. He has a subscription!' From the mouths of babes!"

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5. At least they were being honest. I think this is how a lot of people feel about their coworkers.

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"At a client, large company you would know.

Me: 'how many people work at this plant?' Customer: 'about half...'"

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6. He's got a point.

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"Friend 1: 'They sure have crazy warnings on packages these days. For example on my kid's Batman Halloween costume, there was a warning label that said "caution: wearing cape does not enable wearer to fly."'

Friend 2: 'Of course not, Batman can't fly.'"

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7. You can be sure that I'm going to use this the first chance I get. So beautifully passive-aggressive.

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"Well, I've taken up enough of your time......... and vice versa."

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8. You're lying if you say she's wrong.

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"Walking down a sidewalk in NYC, heard 2 girls talking going the opposite direction. The one snippet I caught before they passed: 'Gatorade, the breakfast of Alcoholics.'"

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9. What do you even say to that?

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"8 cop cars go flying by my room window. I get off reddit (not a joke), run outside and follow the cars a bit. Walk up and see a guy being cuffed. Cop says '...but is this your property, IS IT?' The guy shrugged it off like it was a stupid question and answered with 'No, but it was unlocked.'"

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10. Moms have a way of saying the most hurtful things to their children, yet it's still funny.

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"Friends mother: 'What are you doing?'

Friend: 'Thinking'

Friends mother: 'I thought I smelled something burning.'

I completely lost it."

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11. So unimpressed.

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"I was in camp pendalton (military base in san diego) with a coworker delivering stuff, and we stopped to get some food. we were among a bunch of marines and whatnot when my friend said to me 'i feel out of place here' i told him 'we should have worn camouflage. then we'd blend in' he completely missed it."

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12. Fair question.

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"My friend was a manager at a pizza joint. A customer comes in and complains, 'My pizza tasted like cardboard!' To which my friend replies, 'Well did you take it out of the box?'"

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13. Witty and rude professors are my favorite.

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"A friend and I were eating at a burrito joint near our campus once, and we ran into one of our professors. One of us awkwardly said, 'I guess great minds think alike, right?' To which the professor, without missing a beat, said 'And in this case ours did too.'

Took me a full 5 seconds before I got it."

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14. Too many missed opportunities. I'm glad this one got its chance.

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"As I entered the train station, I glanced at the clock and realized I'd probably missed my train by at least 10 minutes. No big deal, I was pretty sure they were every 15 or 30 minutes.

I approach the ticket kiosk and the following conversation takes place:

Him: 'Yes mate?'

Me: 'Return ticket to Derp please.'

Him: '£3.40 please.'

Me - hands him the cash and as he prints off the tickets I say

Me: 'Any idea how the long the next train will be?'

Him: -without missing a beat- 'They're usually 3 to 5 carriages.'

Me: -the cogs turn - luckily I figure out the joke in a reasonable timeframe- 'LOL'

Him: 'I'm so happy! I never get to use that joke!'"

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15. I mean, he's not wrong, is he?

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"Overheard at the grocery store yesterday, a man was explaining to his (around 8 year old) kid that steaks come from cows. The boy says 'why do they have to kill innocent cows?' and without missing a beat the dad says 'because there's not a lot of guilty cows running around.'"

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16. I hope kids never lose their ability to be this witty.

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"I was in charge of running the sack race for my elementary school this year. The fourth grade was racing, and when they were done this kid walks back towards the starting line with his potato sack in his hand and says to no one in particular; 'I thought I had that in the bag!'

I gave him a high five."

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