Pack up all your four-leaf clovers and throw them in the trash, because you're never going to be as lucky as the cats in this article. Not literal cats, I'm just trying to be cool. Actually, there's one cat.

Anyway, the point is, there are a lot of near-misses that you're going to feel increasingly nervous about.

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1. Don't you just hate when that happens?

I'd like to imagine that this just started because she was frustrated that he could sleep through anything. So every night, she made louder and louder noises, until eventually, she just went too far.

2. On the off chance that you're in a situation where your face is underneath a rampaging bull, this is just about the best you can hope for.

via GIPHY

Call me crazy, but I've always tended to choose the options in life that don't result in me going toe-to-toe with animals eight times my size.

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3. This poor sap forgot their camera on their bumper and drove around like that for 20 minutes.

Either that, or someone's lying to me on the internet, and I simply can't have that. And in front of your children! Or, ya know, maybe they were telling the truth and just got really lucky.

4. I promised you a cat, so here's a cat.

via GIPHY

That cat has been on the hook for too many new iPhones to end up making that mistake again. One more mistake like that, and it's going to end up with an Android instead, and nobody wants that.

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5. When it comes to dodging the bullet, I guess you could say that this person nailed it.

5. When it comes to dodging the bullet, I guess you could say that this person nailedit.
Reddit |  loveshackFC

Oh man, I wish I'd used that dodging the bullet thing with the wife from No.1, but it's too late now.

6. Petey the squirrel heard that the performances on the snowboard slalom were nuts and unfortunately, he misunderstood, putting himself in a tremendous amount of danger.

via GIPHY

Either that, or he was working for the Russians, who were still super salty about getting banned this year.

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7. Someone done screwed up on the Best Buy website and a few lucky folks walked away with an Xbox for just $45.

7. Someone done screwed up on the Best Buy website and a few lucky folks walked away with an Xbox for just $45.
Reddit |  Z3ppelinDude93

These folks just saved $500 and I can't even save a ton of money by switching my car insurance to Geico.

8. If you're not living life in a way that you're constantly risking paralysis, are you really actually living?

The near-miss with the deck is bad enough, but that pool is not deep enough for anyone to be diving into it.

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9. I would have loved to have seen the showdown if the library actually wanted to collect on that tab.

9. I would have loved to have seen the showdown if the library actually wanted to collect on that tab.
Reddit |  kneehal

"Oh yeah, that's a real funny joke, Linda," he says, before the librarian (probably named Linda) stares him dead in the eye and says, "Who's joking?"

10. You've got to give respect to anyone who's willing to take on a job where their only responsibility is to interrupt two people who want to fight with each other.

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11. Okay, so maybe your mechanic won't say you're the luckiest person alive, but this could have been so, so, so, so, so much worse.

11. Okay, so maybe your mechanic won't say you're the luckiest person alive, but this could have been so, so, so, so, so much worse.
Reddit |  Praetor80

It's difficult to come up with a pun about an exploding car without seeming insensitive, so here's the best I've got: "Is this car the bomb or what?"

12. I think this guy ended up learning the exact wrong lesson from his mistake here.

This is like if a trashy Mary Poppins taught you that jobs go much easier if you risk your life and spinal cord.

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13. If a tree falls in the suburbs, and everyone's around to hear it, does it make a bunch more sound?

13. If a tree falls in the suburbs, and everyone's around to hear it, does it make a bunch more sound?
Reddit |  JackleBee

That tree looks like it knew its life was falling apart but it didn't want to inconvenience everyone around it. So relatable.

14. It takes years (if not decades) of training, dedication, and hard work to be able to do your sport at the highest skill level.

If this was me, there's no way the gum wouldn't end up in my eye or something.

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15. Shark bite, ooh-ah-ah!

15. Shark bite, ooh-ah-ah!
Imgur |  drhardway111

It may not seem lucky at first to get bitten by a shark, but this incredibly fortunate girl got away with what's called a "test bite," where the shark makes a snap decision about whether or not you're worth eating. Sure, it's not great for your self-esteem to even get rejected by a shark, but it could've been worse.

16. What? Two gifs of people on ladders on roofs? How lazy am I?

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What was that top ladder made out of? Play-Doh? You should also note we never actually see the guy get down, so I can only assume he's still up there to this day.

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17. This person heard on Reddit that you should jiggle the card reader before putting your card in. And voilĂ , it paid off.

17. This person heard on Reddit that you should jiggle the card reader before putting your card in. And voilà, it paid off.
Reddit |  atlas5280

It's like, the one time that someone's life was actually improved by Reddit.

I don't know why I said that. I'm not even actually this bitter of a person.

18. You may actually want to consider skipping this one, because it's stressful as hell.

We need to get working on a pneumatic tube system, stat, because these elevator fails are way too much for my heart to handle.

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19. If you ever feel dumb wearing your safety glasses, just let this picture embed itself in your brain.

19. If you ever feel dumb wearing your safety glasses, just let this picture embed itself in your brain.
Reddit |  austaul

Much like the piece of whatever that is that nearly embedded itself into the back of his skull.

20. Actual footage of my deadlines at work coming at me faster than I can handle.

The guy on the right is me dodging my responsibilities and hoping to get by in life with my quick reflexes.

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Shout-out to the fine folks at the /r/nonononoyes community on Reddit for many of the gifs and images used in this article.