14+ Times Your 'Mario Kart' Character Said More Than Your Horoscope

Diply 4 Sep 2018

Personally, I've never been one for horoscopes, but I have spent countless hours of my life ripping through the mushroom kingdom on a high-powered go-kart at 150cc (at least).

When you've been everywhere from Peach Beach to the Rainbow Road, you start to grow an attachment to the character that's led you to all those sweet wins in the past — and with eight different Mario Kart games out there now, there are a ton of characters to choose from!

So what does this say about you? Well, that's basically the brunt of a recent viral tweet from Twitter user @lildedjanet.

Wanna really know someone? Here's how. 

Twitter | @lildedjanet

So, what if we got rid of zodiac signs but kept the horoscopes? That's right, I think we can give you all solid life advice simply based on your Kart character alone. Find yours and enjoy!

Keep in mind, of course, that magic isn't real and these are all just for fun — I am not an astrologist, I am a geek.

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1. Mario "Jumpman" Mario 

Nintendo | Nintendo

You don't always have to be the center of attention. Learn to relax and enjoy the little things in life, even when you've suddenly grown large after munching a mushroom. In fact, you might want to lay off the mushrooms in general — some people are concerned.

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2. Princess Daisy

NIntendo | NIntendo

Your spunky, can-do attitude has blossomed into a major part of your personality. Relationships come and go, but opportunities are sprouting all around you. Plant the seeds of your goals and water them with liquid courage...which is just water! Don't get all sauced or whatever.

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3. Princess Rosalina 

Nintendo | Nintendo

Shoot for the stars and you'll at least hit the moon! The universe will reward your keen attention to detail and cometment. It might be tempting to simply spiral downwards into a black hole, but remember, that sucks.

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4. Luigi Mario 

Nintendo | Nintendo

(Yes, his last name is Mario)

You may feel like you've been living in a relative's shadow, but it's time to become your own, unique self. Also, not to alarm you, but it might be time to move soon — your house is most likely haunted. Seriously, don't be scared! Shhh, stop screaming, it's okay.

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5. Princess Peach 

Nintendo | Nintendo

If you're feeling lost, trapped, or otherwise helpless — don't! You're a strong, capable person who will constantly be underestimated. Don't let others tell you that you need to be saved or rescued, and if they do, just pop on over to a different castle, bake yourself a cake and eat it. Yes, eat an entire cake to yourself. You deserve it.

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6. Koopa Troopa

Nintendo | Nintendo

Your hard work and dedication to your career path will soon pay off. Now that you've come out of your shell, it's time to show the world what you're made of! Make sure to keep negative people off your back and don't let them walk/jump all over you.

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7. Bowser

Nintendo | Nintendo

It's time to stop masking your insecurities through a rough-and-tumble exterior. Hang onto the people who see you for what you really are — a big softy — because they will be the ones to show you the most sympathy. Though you tend to push others away (or try to conquer them), your real strength is right here...you can't see it, but I'm pointing to my heart/boob.

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8. Wario

Nintendo | Nintendo

Don't let the petty things be your focus. Your financial management is admirable, but don't get too greedy. Let your independence guide your goals, but remember to take care of yourself every now and then. Honestly, you might want to consider seeing a medical specialist about that gas problem.

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9. Waluigi

Nintendo | Nintendo

You are perfect. You're at peak health, those who claim they hate you still love you, and you grasp every opportunity that comes your way. Eventually, more people will see your value and you'll be given the chances that you so deserve. Hang in there, keep your head up, and never stop WAAAAAA-tching out for your friends, family, and countless fans.

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10. Shy Guy

Nintendo | Nintendo

Remember to ask yourself the important question, "If not now, when?" It's all too easy to mask your emotions and blend into the crowd, but once you start marketing yourself more, people will flock towards your entrepreneurial spirit.

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11. Baby Mario

Nintendo | Nintendo

The best years of your life are still ahead of you! Learn from your elders' mistakes and triumphs to eventually come into your own role. Though you have a tendency to overreact to situations for attention, those who cannot continue without you will always come back and lift your spirits if you give them enough time. Seriously, ease up on the time limit.

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12. Donkey Kong

Nintendo | Nintendo

Your hoarding might soon become an issue. Whether it's bananas, coins, crystal coconuts, or tax receipts from 2003, eventually these things are just becoming clutter. Remember that you're the leader of the bunch, we know you well, now you're finally back, so kick some tail!

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13. Diddy Kong

Nintendo | Nintendo

Time to quit monkeying around! Ha ha ha, right? Get it? 'Cause...monkey. But seriously, though, you procrastinate way too much and it's becoming a real problem, one that your loved ones are concerned about. Yeah, maybe the pun wasn't the greatest way to start that, because this is very worrisome.

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14. Boo

Reddit | Scaricaciottoli

All too often, you have the habit of letting people turn their backs on you. It's arguable that you prefer this to seeing them face to face, as you tend to hide as soon as you're confronted. Realize that people see right through you and try to be a little more solid in your stance.

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15. Toad

Nintendo | Nintendo

You like to keep things short and sweet, just like you! Well, so do I, but you've got a lot of issues we have to address here. First of all, it's pronounced "GIF" — everyone's annoyed that you keep pronouncing it "HERE-WE-GO!" Like, that's not even close.

Your strength is in your confidence, but no one's quite sure what you actually do. Stay positive, but remember that not everyone likes mushrooms on their pizza. I don't know if this is some sort of cannibal act or what, so just keep that in check.

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16. Yoshi

Nintendo | Nintendo

Whoa whoa whoa, slow down there, friend! Take some time to get to know others before rushing right down to your own character here. Did you even read those great space puns with Rosalina's character? No, you just rushed down here to find Yoshi. Relax a bit, and enjoy the company of others.

Realize that others might use you to get ahead and ditch you along the way, but you've got to crack a few eggs to make a dinosaur omelet. No matter what troubles you face, you'll always be able to make a comeback after you hatch out a plan...or hatch out of an egg, or whatever.

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