13+ Lifehacks Perfect For Losing Friends And Helping No One

Diply 11 Oct 2018

Is life going a little too well for you? Are you finding that way too many people in your life are happy to see you? After all, love and admiration are great, but nothing beats that feeling where all the fun in a room stops just because everyone saw you walk through the door.

Of course, true repulsiveness takes commitment and creativity, but not to worry. Just follow these lousy lifehacks and you'll be making things worse for yourself and others in no time!

1. Try this one when you're out with friends so they can be embarrassed to be seen with you.

Reddit | tomsurfsoc

It's just as well, though. With all the dishes you'll have to wash because this isn't how restaurants work, you won't have time to hang with them anyway.

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2. With these cute little numbers, you can keep everything warm except for your most delicate extremities.

Reddit | mynameisnotrelevant2

On the bright side, it'll only match that stylish pedicure more when your toes start to turn purple. It's enough to make us wish we had thought of it first!

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3. Ten bucks to take a dump anywhere we want? What a bargain!

Reddit | BrownSugarSandwich

With only a simple bag needed to line it, cleanup couldn't be easier. Just leave the bag on whatever lawn or museum floor you did your business on and make it someone else's problem.

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4. Losing track of time in the morning? Just put your expensive watch in your bowl of cereal.

Reddit | TheRookieGetsACookie

As long as the milk doesn't get in and ruin the watch, you'll always know what time it is. Besides, everybody loves watch bands that smell like sour milk.

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5. If you're running short on cash, just hastily glue some cheap handles to trash and convince people to buy it.

Reddit | SinfulSnorlax

After all, you might not be willing to spend 25 bucks on this "practical" cup, but there's probably somebody out there who will.

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6. If you want to feel smarter than everyone, make up your own language and speak it to anyone you meet.

GIPHY

If they're so smart, shouldn't they be able to figure out what all these random sounds mean?Remember, they're just backing away slowly to swallow their pride.

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7. This handy little hack won't exactly make property values tumble overnight, but that won't matter if you do it right. 

Reddit | fightmilk22

By the time you get out of jail for randomly firing in the middle of the street, those prices should be right where you want them.

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8. Tired of seeing the same boring car in your neighbor's driveway every day? Just doodle on it to make it more eye-catching.

Reddit | CallMeJustin

Be sure not to give them any warning that you're planning on doing this, either. You wouldn't want to ruin their unexpected surprise.

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9. If you think bikes are too practical and motorcycles are too fast, this homely hybrid will give you the worst of both worlds!

Reddit | BamBam199q

When you're awkwardly trying to turn with 50 pounds of unnecessary armor on your bike, everyone will know you're riding in style.

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10. Don't let that missing car door get you down. It's nothing that some half-heartedly nailed-together logs can't fix.

Reddit | GreenGonz

Not only will it utterly fail to keep bugs out, but it probably won't be any better at keeping you in when things get messy.

Who needs safety?

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11. If your charger stops working, all you need to do is quietly switch it out with a similar one.

Reddit | DVRK

Don't worry, whoever owns it will be too busy trying to figure out how those burn marks mysteriously appeared to suspect you of anything.

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12. In case you're worried about people pulling that switcheroo on you, just show up to work with one of these.

Reddit | PietroPro

Apple may have taken away the headphone jack and home button, but you can still do your part to make their products as cumbersome as possible.

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13. Phew, we've finally found a way to make the sound of pencil sharpening more annoying for everyone. 

Reddit | Francone79

If you're pointlessly using this to spin your pencil in an automatic sharpener (and why wouldn't you?), you can get two high-pitched whirring sounds for the price of one!

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14. Not only will this handy frame make scenes more picturesque, but it fits snugly in anything bigger than your pocket.

Getty Images | Sergey Ryumin

If you break out the backpack just to end up wondering why you even bothered to bring this thing, that's how you know it's working.

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15. Do not underestimate all the ways that this clever broccoli hack can make your shower less satisfying.

Reddit | strawberry_manilow

Between the part where it keeps falling out and that brisk feeling of a disappointing trickle when it does miraculously stay in, you can't go right with this idea!

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16. Selfie sticks are great and all, but none of them really capture how awkward it feels to take a picture with a tablet.

Twitter | @scixpmas

And the fact that you still have to touch the tablet to take the photo adds a refreshing challenge to the whole process.

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