I'm pretty much an expert at keeping stuff under wraps. My feelings are buried beneath layers of sarcasm, and my self-loathing is walled up in my impenetrable fortress of workaholism. If I'm busy, I'm not thinking, right? Who's got time for haters when you're rushing to accept an award?
What scares me are the quiet moments when my overworked brain starts chewing on an inconvenient thought. Usually, this is something about the fact that I'm getting old, and I'm gonna die one day.
Oh no, we can't have a depressing mess like that knocking around my skull. It brings everything down, and how am I gonna work 14-hour days with a head full of existential pain?
It just doesn't work.
The solution: denial. It was right in front of me all along. Just cram your head with nope, and watch your problems disappear!
I guess they have to disappear when there's that many bloated faces in the way.
It's a solid tactic. Denial's seen me through some of the biggest problems I've had today, like whether to change my shoes before I left for work. I stood there, paralyzed with indecision, and then the flood started. Who cares about the shoes, what's your credit card bill like?, you have to pay that, you idiot, not to mention you have to clean the floor, and —
But I solved this problem how? I just stuttered meaninglessly, and staggered to the door with the shoes I had on.
Never underestimate the power of denial. Sure, your life might be in shambles, but why should you have to deal with it when you can sweep it under the mental rug and go grab a pizza?