We've all said things that make us question our own intelligence, but it's far more often that words from other people leave us mindblown. Nothing is better than feeling superior to someone, especially when it comes to intelligence. Thinking "I've said some pretty dumb things, but never as dumb as that" is the best.

I once called a feather a bird leaf, realized I said it wrong, said it again as bird leaves and still didn't quite understand where I went wrong. But at least I've never said anything as bad as what these people said.


1. It kinda makes sense, but no.

"One girl thought a lime turned into a lemon which turned into an orange which turned into a grapefruit. I kinda get where she was coming from though..."

2. Something tells me he isn't going to last long.

"Told apprentice to put electrical socket 1/4 of the way along the wall. He measured the wall and divided by 15. When asked why 15 he looks at his watch and goes 'cause a quarter is 15 right'."


3. Now I wanna know what the case was about...

"I was at court, using the restroom. Someone in the stall was talking on their phone. 'Of course they dropped the case, I told you they would... we should go out and celebrate, maybe have some shots... no, it won't hurt the baby at all'."

4. Did she decide this on her own, or did someone tell her that's what it does?

"A girl I once knew said she didn't drink water because it dehydrates you. She would only drink sports drink."


5. I hope you left her in the room.

"I work in an Escape Room so I have a lot. But the best one is probably when the group got a code 1337 to put into a lock, and a woman went looking around for places to use it. She found the lock the code went too, but said it wouldn't fit because the dials were only 0-9 and that they didn't go up to 13."

6. It was hard for me to learn how to tell time on an analog clock too, but I wasn't this bad.

"Was talking with a friend and told her I was tired because I only slept about 4 hours last night. She responded 'yeah me too, I only slept from 12am to 8am... but I don't know how many hours that is...'"


7. Yes. Exactly like that.

"I'm a pastry chef. Years ago I was working in a small bakery, new front of house employee shows up, I'm about to bake bread. I asked her to hand me the yeast and she says 'ugh, wait, like a yeast infection? That's in my BREAD?'"

8. I hope she dumped him.

"My friend didn't want to wear a skirt because she was on her period. Her boyfriend told her to 'just hold it in and piss it out later'."


9. It's sad how many people don't understand basic astronomy.

"Had a girl tell me that the sun and moon are the same thing. I asked her 'what about when the sun and moon are out at the same time?' She says 'you’re just seeing the reflection of the sun' I couldn’t believe she was serious."

10. Our future lawyers, ladies and gentlemen.

"When I was in law school, they were increasing security in the building. They let us vote on whether we wanted key fobs or ID cards. I heard some 1L students engaged in a conversation about how the key 'swabs' would be too much of an invasion of privacy, and how at least the ID cards wouldn't require a DNA sample. I'm pretty sure they thought they took a cheek swab and had to match your DNA to get in the building."


11. What did she think it was made of, clogged arteries and tears?

"I had a 35 y/o woman gape at me in genuine disbelief when I included butter in a comment about dairy products. She really had no idea butter was simply cream and salt and literally went to fridge to read the ingredients on the box."

12. I hope this was a joke and that they don't truly think this. Either way, silk is impressive.

"Silk shirts are expensive because they have to train the silkworms to weave the shirts."


13. It's like when Snookie said she doesn't eat lobster because they're alive when you kill them...

"'Wait, are lobsters animals?!'

I knew a girl in high school who asked me and my friend that. She had been working at a grocery store with lobsters, and she was the one who would kill them iirc.

She did that work for several months before asking us that."

14. A diet. You're going on a diet. This has nothing to do with Lent.

"A girl I had class with in college said she gave up carbs for Lent... she wasn't catholic... her solution was to eat BREADED fried chicken because the breading was 'basically nothing.'"


15. What...are you even trying to say?

"Snakes aren't really an animal, 'cause like...they're cold blooded??" Heard that come out of a co-worker's mouth and nearly flipped my shit.

16. No, it was like being tickled with a feather.

"I was once asked, 'Did it hurt?', after I had just finished explaining that I had been in a workplace accident some time prior that involved me being set on fire and receiving second and third degree burns."


What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? Tell us about it in the comments!