13+ Best Ways To Spend Your Nightmarish Apocalypse

Diply 20 Sep 2018

Everyone knew the apocalypse was just around the corner, but not many knew how it would come about. Funnily enough, it was both the environment and the robot uprising that ended civilization as we knew it in the 21st century — smh.

But, that doesn't mean we can't still enjoy ourselves, right? I'm at least grateful that internet access zones are still available under the command of Supreme Emperor 0110001 — may his battery never die — even if all forms of identity have been stripped from social media.

So, why not spend your 15 minute internet time allocation browsing through these super fun ways to make your apocalypse an a-rock-alypse!

1. Yell things in an abandoned building.

Pixabay | Pixabay

You wouldn't believe the acoustics that these old places have, especially with little to no people occupying them anymore. So long as you're not yelling anything that does not compute with electronic law #3113, you're free to take part in this cathartic experience!

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2. Go for a drive! 

Pixabay | Pixabay

If you can find one of these bad boys in working condition, you're in for a treat! I suggest scouring the countryside for them, since a lot of the ones there still have gasoline in their tanks more often than not.

Lol, "vroom vroom," I assume.

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3. Take snaps with your friends!

Pixabay | Pixabay

There's still plenty of opportunity to look hella cute. Again, if you can find an internet allocation zone, I'd highly recommend getting a following! I've even heard that Human Supply Store 113 is coming out with a new line of supes pretty gas masks.

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4. Radioactive rave parties

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They're few and far between after the great mutation of '18, but if you're brave enough, that nuclear waste is the perfect party favor. Its glow is the perfect way to get the party started, just don't spill any on you, haha!

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5. Participate in "The Great Retelling"

Pixabay | Pixabay

Since only one movie exists right now — of course, I'm talking about Shrek The Third — it's important to know the previous tales that led up to that film. If you've never been to a "Great Retelling," you're missing out on the hottest oration available right now. Normally they do both stories, Shrek: The Shrekening and Shrek 2: Electric Boogaloo, so it's five hours well spent.

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6. Throw random objects off high buildings

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Again, it's just cathartic to let it all out when there's really not many humans around. People used to throw paper money to create rain or "make it rain," as they said, but that was before the bi-hourly downpour of acid rain.

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7. Talk to Keanu Reeves about the old days. 

Getty Images | John Parra

Or "The Ageless One," as most people call him. Reeves has much to say about the old days, even if it is only through riddles and metaphors. I'd suggest visiting him over in Human-Sanctuary 889 sometime.

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8. Go flower picking! 

Getty Images | mammuth

If you're fortunate enough to live anywhere in sectors 991A–1057C, there are rumors that a few flowers are growing! I haven't gotten out there myself since I'm a sector 232T boy, born and raised, but they look awesome.

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9. Reflect on where it all went wrong.

Reddit | Worrun

Some of the older folks will be able to tell you what it was like, and some even know a few songs from back then. Apparently, large beetles from England (sector 1248G area) used to entertain people all over the world.

Nowadays, the giant beetles just hiss and spit venom at us, lol. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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10. Enjoy some fine cuisine. 

Reddit | bruddatim

Here's a quick lifehack for ya! When filling out the request form for your state-mandated nutrient package, that row of dots at the bottom selects your animal. If you fill in every other dot, you get rabbit, but if you go three in a row and then skip every other dot, you can end up with pig!

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11. Take a botany class. 

Getty Images | Peter Zelei Images

Again, this is fairly sector-specific, but learning how to grow plants can be a fun way to see a slice of what the world used to look like. Plus, the cans from your nutrient package make for a great DIY planter!

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12. Visit the Statue Of Liberty 

Pixabay | Pixabay

Since it's always floating around somewhere, it's just a matter of tracking down where it has ended up this month. Those giant tidal waves sure are frustrating to get around, but man if it isn't convenient for sight seeing.

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13. Cower before The Dark One. 

Reddit | spicynugget124

Lol, yup, I didn't see it coming either, but here we are. I don't have to tell you that when Supreme Emperor 0110001 — may his battery never die — made the decision to open a black hole in our solar system, people were skeptical at first. Of course, we learned the error of thinking that way and now cowering before The Dark One is seriously goals.

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14. Join The Order Of The Mask. 

Pixabay | Pixabay

A super-fun nostalgia trip, if you're willing to go through the rituals. The Order Of The Mask is a throwback to the days of organized religion that always has people leaving with a smile on their face and, usually, pockets full of usable soil. Honestly, sometimes it's just worth it for the soil, lol.

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15. Don't go swimming! 

Getty Images | Anton Petrus

One of the safest and best things to do these days is admire, but not swim, in the pools of water around your sector. It's always a beaut to look at, though!

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16. And lastly, just have fun with it!

Reddit | Stubbula

Some say we're in the post-apocalyptic era, others say we're still in the apocalypse... The point is, let's just make it our own, huh? Of course we'll obey by electronic law #717 — lol, who wouldn't? — but so long as we have our hour of outside time and 15 minutes of internet a day, there's still lots of fun to be had!

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