Anthony Hopkins has shared the moment he realized he was an alcoholic, which ended up being a turning point in his life.
He was discussing his memoir
In an appearance on The New York Times podcast The Interview, on October 25, Hopkins discussed his upcoming memoir, We Did OK, Kid.
During the conversation, he recalled the exact moment he realized he had a problem with alcohol.
Hopkins recounted the moment
Hopkins told the outlet, “I was drunk and driving my car here in California in a blackout, no clue where I was going, when I realized that I could have killed somebody — or myself, which I didn’t care about.”
“I came to my senses and said to an ex-agent of mine at this party in Beverly Hills, ‘I need help.’”
He was able to ask for help
Hopkins went on, “It was 11 o’clock precisely — I looked at my watch — and this is the spooky part: Some deep, powerful thought or voice spoke to me from inside and said: ‘It’s all over. Now you can start living. And it has all been for a purpose, so don’t forget one moment of it.’”
He said this voice stopped his cravings
The actor continued to describe that voice as ‘vocal, male, reasonable, like a radio voice’, saying that it completely removed his desire for drinking.
“The craving to drink was taken from me, or left,” he shared.
Hopkins believes it was likely ‘divinity’
The Silence of the Lambs star added, “Now I don’t have any theories except divinity or that power that we all possess inside us that creates us from birth, life force, whatever it is.”
“It’s a consciousness, I believe. That’s all I know.”
He reflected on his struggles
Explaining how he fell into alcoholism, Hopkins said that after he endured a ‘lonely’ childhood and survived ‘those bullies’, he drank to ‘nullify that discomfort or whatever it was in me, because it made me feel big.’
“You know, booze is terrific because it makes you instantly feel in a different space,” he explained.
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Hopkins remembers drinking with other actors
He went on, “Actors in those days — Peter O’Toole, Richard Burton, all of them — I remember those drinking sessions, thinking: ‘This is the life. We’re rebels, we’re outsiders, we can celebrate.’”
“And at the back of the mind is: ‘It’ll kill you as well.’ Those guys I worked with have all gone.”
He’s grateful to still be here
After all the hardships, Hopkins said he’s grateful that he’s ‘still here’.
He said, “There are monstrous difficulties in life and you take notice of them. But finally, approaching 88 years of age, I wake up in the morning going: ‘I’m still here. How?’ I don’t know. But whatever’s keeping me here, thank you very much! Much obliged!”
