Is it just me or is sleep just, like, the greatest thing these days? Well, I know I’m not alone, actually, ’cause it seems like everyone I know is either chugging coffee to survive or just waiting to run home and hit the hay.
So, if you’re like me and are barely keeping your eyes open right now, you’ll definitely relate to these tweets! Don’t doze off on me now.
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1. This deal is getting worse all the time!
Are we just forever doomed to walk this earth like a sleepless zombie? Probably! Because every time I finally get around to a comfortable bedtime, it just doesn’t matter. Zombies unite!
2. ♫ Lean on me, when you’re not strong…
The sleepy struggle is one that brings us all together — you don’t have to know someone to get on this level of trust, assuming you’re both tired enough. And if it’s finals week, then yeah, you’re tired enough.
3. Getting older is just another scam — can confirm.
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your whole fatigued life! I just feel like a 100-year-old dude in a young man’s oddly hairy body. We should probably all invest in a cane right now.
4. Waking up lookin’ like E.T.’s grandma over here.
I have 100% been this parched before. The worst part is that you just wanna stay in bed, but you have to get up to hydrate your pruned-out face!
5. Mostly, I just yell “NO!” over and over again at my alarm clock.
Sometimes I just look at the alarm with disdain. Staring at it like, “How dare you. You’re a traitor!”
6. Now that’s a mood.
See, a little bit of optimism is going to go a long way. Sure, you’re awake now, but how tasty is that sleep gonna be in a handful of hours from now?
7. ♫ I cry at labor, get by with strains — if you catch me on a pillow, I be nappin’ all day.
♫ Tired skulls and booones / stretch and yawn and snooze I’m prone / Yawnin’ when we alone / Sleep-filled noises what I’ve written.
8. I haven’t heard it put this way before, but yes.
Ever get up and then, somehow, feel super awake? Like, “No, body, stop! It’s sleep time now, why you do this?!”
9. Yeah, sorry, we talked about that — doesn’t work.
And also, shut up! I would go to sleep earlier if the internet didn’t exist and my brain didn’t wander like Bilbo freakin’ Baggins all the time.
10. Love a good massage.
A bit pricey for a nap, but you’re worth it! Plus they got those comfy towels, smelly candles, and all the Enya you could possibly want to doze off to.
11. Good analogy — it does kinda make me want breakfast, though.
Speaking of which, have we even touched on breakfast in bed? It sounds like a good idea at first, until you move a half inch and pour your entire meal on your lap.
12. And this is where my mind wanders.
Next thing you know, it’s four in the morning and suddenly you’re an expert on limes, lima beans, and line dancing. Just playing the Wiki game till you’re spent.
13. Now that’s a solid strategy!
Basically, if I could set this up so I’m just rolling into bed after bed to get to work, my life would be set…and also pretty wacky, but still.
14. A newer, more relatable species of bird.
Look, the early birds can keep their worms, and the night owls can — I dunno — wear mortarboards or whatever. Us pigeons are gonna take a nap.
15. And they said we’d never amount to anything being tired all the time.
Finally, some homework I don’t actually mind doing. For every assignment, you’re just told to “sleep on it.”
16. We all know the struggle is real.
Just this morning I bumped my knee on a table, fell over while putting socks on, and knocked over one of the, like, 20 water glasses on my nightstand. What a crime scene.
