Listen, we don't all totally nail Twitter when we start it for the first time. I mean, I did, but I'm clearly an exception to the rule. Besides, you'll never find evidence of my first tweet to prove me wrong.
Even the rich and famous sometimes struggle with new technology!
Only from Tom Hanks would I allow a tweet this corny.
"Testing...testing...Is this thing on??" He wrote in 2010, which is so long ago in internet time that his joke might actually have been fresh then, now that I think about it.
"HI TWITTERS. THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY."
It's cool that it's obvious Oprah herself made this tweet. No social media manager would have gone for that all-caps moment.
Also, did social media managers exist in 2009? Let me know.
Oh...wow.
So, first of all, "Finally...Twitter just got Rocked!" is an incredibly The Rock tweet.
Second of all, I followed that link. I'm sad to report that it is too old to lead anywhere. It was probably a picture of him doing a "rock on" gesture while flexing, let's be real.
Hey, quick question: what does this say...?
"Y today? Y now? Y not do something new. Y not try to spread love & peace & good digestive health & humor. Kids are the future. 143yall. xJLC"
Y sign your tweet? Y bring up Activia? Y randomly type "143yall"? We may never know.
William Shatner in 2008: "Learning about this fascinating site."
William Shatner in 2019: Getting into arguments with me about the TV show, The 100. That is an embarrassing fact for only one of us.
DIDDY WAS REALLY EXCITED TO SHOOT MORE CSI.
So anyway. Yeah, Diddy actually was in CSI in 2008. That's a very ancient sentence to have written. These days, he uses Twitter to post his actual phone number and ask people to text him.
Zooey pulled a Jamie Lee Curtis and signed her first tweet, which is absolutely hilarious.
She created her Twitter to tell everyone to see The Cove, which is chill. But she used the word "alas," so -10 cool points.
"BREAKING NEWS: I'm now a Twit. Official."
Words written by Piers Morgan in 2010, but still oh so true in 2020. No one is a bigger twit than Piers Morgan.
Sheriff Hopper's first tweet? Asking for a personal spa experience.
"@SpaSophia I want it, can u come to brooklyn? Hey, I'm on twitter, sup?"
David. We were not saying "sup" in 2013.
"i have officially entered the 20th century. i mean the 21st."
Get it? Because she was behind the times? Yeah, it's...not funny, but it's Pink. So we'll allow it. She's an icon, okay?
"Do you all know a micro published minimagazine called Hamburger Eyes? Usually printed black&white newsprint with glossy cover. Sells for 5$."
I...I don't, Cole. I really don't.
To be fair, this content is no different from how he tweets now.
"This is the new official twitter for Gary Busey the actor. Follow THEGaryBusey on twitter if you want the truth."
Um...I'd ask if Gary Busey is okay, but I don't think he's ever been 100% okay. What is his truth, anyway?
The picture. The obvious behind-the-scenes persuasion to get him to join Twitter and promote his SNL hosting stint.
There's so much to say, but I just don't have the time, you guys.
I can hear this tweet.
"Right now I feel like Neil Armstrong. I'm takin my first step on twitter." And thus Billy's reign on Twitter began. He would hit peak meme when he teamed up with Lil Nas X for "Old Town Road," so it's neat to see the beginning of a hilarious thing.
Just kidding. Of course she was good at Twitter right out of the gate. In 2009, Chrissy wrote,
"puddy just bit my nipple and i think its gone...im scared to look. are these the kind of updates twitter wants? i'll learn."
And that, everyone, is why we made her the mayor of Twitter.
"Hey. It's me, Brie. Sorry I'm late. I've been been on MySpace this whole time," Brie Larson tweeted, which is extra funny considering she didn't join Twitter until 2015.
I wish we were all still on MySpace, actually.
If the use of "peeps" didn't give this away, NPH joined Twitter in 2009 and immediately had some issues.
"My first tweet, peeps. I apologize in advance for my slow learning curve. Nice to (sort of) meet you. It's amazing how quickly 140 charac," he joked.
It looks like Conan was pretty desperate to return to his day job when he debuted his Twitter account.
"Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me," he tweeted. Hopefully someone did!
It looks a little bit like Ellen got too caught up in the vernacular of Twitter when she sent out her first tweet. To be honest, I kind of wish we had all gone with "twit" as the noun — it's got a certain ring to it.
You'd expect someone as young and hip as Ariana to hop on Twitter with flawless ease, but the fact that she wrote her first tweet in third person shows that she wasn't quite there.
Remember when we all posted on our Facebook pages like the sentences started with our names?
Lil Wayne clearly had a lot to cover in this tweet, including a birthday shoutout to "Mak" and an incomplete "LOL" tacked onto the end there.
By the way, that "ym" at the end isn't a typo. Wayne was signing the tweet with "young money."
Ah, Kris Jenner, tweeting exactly like pretty much everyone's mom would when joining Twitter.
"This is the first time I am twittering and its really easy! I just invited all of my kids to twitter!" she wrote. I'm sure the Kar-Jenner clan mostly rolled their eyes.
"first tweet. no followers. feel pretty good about it," read Chris Pratt's first tweet.
This one's pretty awkward, but to be honest, it's kind of how I'm tweeting now, so who's the real winner here?
