16 Products That Prove Masculinity Is Beyond Fragile

February 8, 2018

In case anyone hasn't realized this yet, masculinity is a very, very fragile concept.

Men are taught from birth to play with certain toys, like certain things, and that things like pink, dolls, and even having emotions are only for women. Men are unfeeling, strong beacons of steel who play sports, drink beer, have deep voices, and date a ton of girls. This, in turn, has sprouted into the toxic concept that masculinity needs to be in everything a man does: laundry, food, sunscreen, bedding, and virtually everything in-between.

Here are a few examples of products def catering to masculinity and the tough guys who apparently need it:

1. Dryer Sheets

Twitter | @HalleyIsAwesome

For when a man has to deal with the womanly task of doing laundry but doesn't want to lose his manhood. You have to do two separate loads, one for the woman smells, one for the man smells!

2. Bath Bombs

Twitter | @BelleJarTeam

Bath bombs almost as fragile as traditional masculinity.


Tbh though, I'm kinda wondering what these bad boys look like when tossed into a tub. Do they literally explode?

3. Sunscreen

Twitter | @kennedyknight_

Men have man skin, and man skin can't use normal sunscreen! Man skin is totally different from woman skin and requires sunscreen for men packaged in a man bottle.


4. Q-Tips

Twitter | @elguante

You didn't seriously think that a man could use plain cotton swabs, did you? MEN NEED INDUSTRIAL COTTON SWORDS MADE OF STEEL!

5. Brosé

Instagram | @artofpictures

Rosé is pink and pink is for girls! Men can't drink pink wine, dude, UNLESS it is packaged as Brosé. Women, please don't drink this on accident, it is infused with testosterone and toxic, fragile masculinity! BEWARE!!

6. Brogurt

What's Trending | What's Trending

Most yogurt is for the weaker gender, so men need this super manly brogurt! Regular yogurt will make them sprout into feminine flowers almost immediately!


7. Bronuts

Ugh | Ugh

Regular ol' donuts are obviously super feminine. Right? MEN NEED TO SNACK LIKE MEN, NOT FEEBLE WOMEN! SNACK ON A BRONUT BRO!

8. Furniture

Twitter | @k3nnr

You wouldn't dare have anything other than a super masculine bed, would you gentlemen? Haven't we learned anything from this? Colors are feminine, white is feminine, only gray appeals to men!

9. Man-Sized Soap

Twitter | @rockmeannadeus

Men need masculine soap, not that woman-sized small stuff! THESE BARS ARE BIG ENOUGH TO WASH THE FRAGILE MASCULINITY THAT COVERS A MAN FROM HEAD TO TOE!


10. Therapy (and Feelings)

Twitter | @miss_sazabi

Feelings were once reserved for women and hippies, but much to our surprise, men have them too! Don't deal with them in therapy though, men need to go to man therapy!

11. Cough Drops

Twitter | @Willeth

Sick? Got the flu? These lozenges are formulated for the male flu strain, which is VERY different from the female strain! Men have entirely different flu symptoms. Didn't you know?

12. Tea

Twitter | @thisisapollo

No wonder men are stressed out all the time: They don't drink tea! Well, they can drink men's tea, but that's it! The rest is reserved for women and women alone.

13. Wipes

Dude I Want That | Dude I Want That

Touching your own butt might be a weird feeling, dude. It's understandable! That's the reason men need these gentle and soothing but masculine and tough dude wipes!

14. Man-sized Tissues

Amazon | Amazon

"For extra-large, manly man sneezes. Not girly sneezes. I'm not a girl, I'm a man!"

Note it says "mansize" not once, but twice, because fragile masculinity needs a lot of reassurance.

15. Breakfast

Twitter | @empratts

Think we can all share the same breakfast foods? WRONG! Breakfast must be gendered, too! Can't be having those girly hotcakes! Those are for girls! Men need a manly, meaty breakfast to fuel their big man brains!

16. Lip Balm

Twitter | @TheQueenRegnant

Engineered for men literally translates into "engineered to be flat instead of round, so other men won't make fun of you for not wanting chapped lips."

Because chapped lips are a sign of being tough and masculine and lip balm is for women!