Nightmare Neighbors Call Police After Man Returns Dog Turds With Golf Wedge

Sometimes the internet just hands you something that makes you feel confused and amazed in a way that you can't quite put your finger on.

One recent example of this is the story of one man who found a very creative way of dealing with his nightmare neighbors. In particular, our protagonist found an innovative way of dealing with their dog's poop that was littered all over his lawn.

In a recent Reddit thread, one man shared his story of meeting his new neighbors after buying a house.

Unsplash | Nina Strehl

The man posted his story on Reddit's Am I The Asshole subreddit, and started his tale by explaining:

"I bought my house about three months ago. When I moved in, I noticed there were a couple dozen lumps of dried dog doo on one side of my front yard. Before I mowed the first time, I went out and picked them up with a plastic bag over my hand."

However, the turds kept appearing on his new lawn.

After catching his neighbor's dog pooping on his lawn two or three times a day, he decided to confront them.

Unsplash | Brian Yurasits

"One Saturday afternoon, I saw my neighbor out front while I was tending the garden. I said hello and started a simple conversation," they wrote. "After a few minutes, I mentioned the poop and said it would be appreciated if they could pick up after their dog. My neighbor laughed and said that's not from his dog... that there is a stray dog in the neighborhood that does that everywhere."

So, this person decided to set up a camera and managed to get video footage of their dog defecating on his lawn. Once he had ample evidence, he explained:

"Armed with mountains of evidence, I took the opportunity to approach my neighbor's wife when she was walking the dog. I didn't go into forensic details, but simply asked her if she wouldn't mind picking up after her dog in my yard. She also denied it, and the conversation ended awkwardly at best."

So, he decided that the only thing to do would be to work on his golfing a little.

"I spent several more days noodling over what to do and decided to take matters into my own hands. I pulled a pitching wedge out of my golf bag and proceeded to chip dog scat from my front yard into my neighbors. Beyond solving my immediate problem, I could also work a bit on my short game," he explained.

After continuing this for a week or so, he explained that he grew to enjoy his new hobby — that is, until the neighbor's wife caught him:

"I was out doing my thing when my neighbor's wife barged out her front door screaming. She told me that I can't do that and called me every name in the book (including the obligatory A-hole word). I tried to keep my cool and told her that I was simply returning what was theirs. Last thing I heard was that she was calling the police as she left. I continued and finished up my chipping session."

Though he is yet to hear from the local authorities about his turd chipping, he did begin to wonder if he was in the wrong.

Unsplash | Matt Seymour

The problem appears to have been fixed as he wrote that there have been no more turds on his lawn. Although, was it worth his actions?

Well, unsurprisingly, most people were on his side, with one person writing:

"[You're not the asshole here,] you were simply returning their property."

While some agreed that he was not in the wrong, some thought that there could have been better was of handling it.

"You are just kindly returning their property. However, you could have been a little more diplomatic, considering these will be your neighbours for some time and it would be best not to make them enemies. Maybe you could have shown them the video or some photos as evidence?" wrote another person.

Although, the fact that he had tried to approach the neighbors about their dog's turds previously, only to be laughed at, demonstrated for most that our turd-chipper was only doing what he had to.

Even though it does seem to be solved, maybe this guy might need to invest in a fence in future.

Unsplash | Randy Fath

Personally, I have lived next to a handful of asshats who I would have liked to have chipped dog turds at, so I don't think that he was necessarily in the wrong — especially considering that he did try to talk to them about this issue like an adult previously.

That being said, this is one of the most wonderfully petty revenge stories that I have read for a long time!

h/t: Reddit

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