Getting cheated on is one of the ugliest aspects of love and dating. But when you're unknowingly the one helping to facilitate the cheating — that's just plain brutal.
People Who’ve Been The 'Other' Person In An Affair Are Telling Their Stories
What would you do if it was you?
"The guy I was seeing was very private and shy and I figured this was just for fun so it's not a big deal if I don't know his whole life story or anything. But it became a big deal after he got caught and told me he had a girlfriend of two years." - Reddit u/aReallyCleverName
How do you establish trust when your relationship is built on a lie?
This anonymous Redditor fell in love with a salesman 10 years her senior, who also happened to be in a loving relationship for more than 9 years. What began as a flirtation quickly escalated into an all-out affair.
They broke up after four years because of her insecurity over being the "other woman."
When you had no idea that *you* were the other woman.
"It really hurt that he had lied the whole time," explained Redditor lolalodge. They said that "It wasn't so much the infidelity, it was the lying and the breach of trust."
From "best friends" to the "other woman."
Another anonymous Reddit user talks about how she was the "best man" for her best friend's wedding. One night, he confessed that he no longer loved his wife and secretly longed for her. He promised to divorce his wife but it never happened.
Knowing you misjudged someone is what hurts the most.
"We were really so great together. But his wife's daddy was a general in the military and that was why he had this cushy job and he wouldn't sacrifice that for me. He didn't give a crap about her... and in the end.. or me." - Reddit u/Sobrikett
If she doesn't care, then why should I?
Reddit user justagirlandherdog fell in love with her scummy high school sweetheart. He was engaged for 8 years and all the while the two of them were texting and exchanging sexy snapchats.
Love yourself first.
"I was the other woman in high school. I was naive and dumb. I was so happy that a guy was finally paying attention to me — because I was pretty unpopular — that I lowered myself to be okay with being the side chick." - Reddit u/robairsarai
Herpes is forever.
This Reddit user was sleeping with a married man who kept promising to leave his wife. She later discovered that she was only one of the multiple different women after catching an STI from the man in question.
It can't all be about him.
"I was no temptress. It ended when I asked when I might see him again — everything was on his time — and he blew up about how it wasn’t easy to just 'drop everything,' which isn’t at all what I was asking." - Reddit u/anonymous
Is this a happy ending?
This Redditor was the director superior of the man she was having an illicit affair with. In the end, he wound up leaving his wife and the two of them got married. They now have children of their own and are still married.
Taking ownership isn't easy.
"I've been the "other guy" and I know it was a bad thing to do. Some feelings outweigh other feelings of morality and judgement[sic] - but at least I don't lie to myself saying it wasn't my fault. It was. I did a very bad thing. Plain and simple." - Reddit u/Chubbybrownbear
Trying looking at things a different way.
An anonymous Redditor commented on how she knowingly slept with a man who was in another relationship and didn't care. According to her, it was one of the best experiences of her life and she's thankful for it.
Seven years a fool.
"He omitted the fact that he had a (live-in) girlfriend of 7 years. I found out from a friend of his who was feeling territorial about me 'moving in on' her, when really I had no idea. Made me feel desperate and pathetic." - Reddit u/anneylani
Some people just don't feel anything.
This Redditor had no sooner finished having sex with the man she thought she loved when he answered a phone call from his long-distance girlfriend — while she was still in the same bed.
The plot thickens.
"I wasn't the other woman, but my best friend was. plot twist: she was my other woman. my boyfriend knew and said that he wanted us to continue having sex and didn't mind, so we kept at it." - Reddit u/deleted