Dad Asks If He's Wrong For Setting Rules After Unemployed Son Moves Back In

Published September 17, 2021

Now more than ever, parents are coming to the realization that they don't really stop being parents once their children become adults.

In many cases, this doesn't mean that they're still caring for them as if they were children, but that they can have some valuable and much-needed insight when their kids run into some tough situations.

However, there are no shortage of parents who grow to find that their adult children still live with them and no shortage of reasons why that can be the case.

Nonetheless, the parent-child dynamic changes a lot when the "child" is old enough to be a parent themselves, so some parents will work out some arrangement such as a nominal rent fee to ensure that both parties are meeting each other with due respect.

But as we'll find in the story we're about to go over, these arrangements don't always work out as neatly as people would hope.

After a period of living hours away from his parents and his younger sister, a man recently moved back in with his family because he couldn't afford rent.

Universal Pictures Home Entertainment via YouTube

As his father explained in a Reddit post, "He said it was temporary but he's been here for 4 months."

However, that isn't the problem as much as the fact that he hasn't appeared to make a serious effort to find work, nor has he shown any commitment to helping around the house.

When the dad addressed this issue with his wife, she seemed concerned that he wanted to kick their son out.

Instead, his plan was to sit his son down and lay out some ground rules if he's going to continue to stay there.

Lionsgate via YouTube

These included taking care of basic tasks such as doing his own laundry and washing his own dishes, as well as not complaining about what he's being served for lunch and dinner.

He will also be expected to use the internet for no more than six hours per day (his younger sister follows the same rule) and finding his own way to pay for luxuries like Netflix subscriptions and YouTube live streams.

The son considered these rules unreasonable and unfair before asserting that he wasn't a child anymore.

As the father put it, "He got frustrated and yelled 'mom' to come to his rescue."

And that's precisely what she tried to do, saying that the dad should be ashamed for treating his son "like an uninvited guest."

Pexels | Andrea Piacquadio

In response, the dad said that she was enabling his laziness and that he was setting a poor and irresponsible example for their daughter.

Finally, the mom argued that he proved his responsibility by attaining his college degree and that the dad is only making his current struggles worse.

She added that the dad shouldn't be surprised if their son stops speaking to him after he does move out.

In the wake of this argument, the father was left wondering if his rules went too far.

And from the sounds of it, the Reddit community was about as conflicted on the matter as he was.

On one hand, most seemed to agree that the son came off as immature and sounded about as lazy as his father claimed.

As one user said, "I'm an adult, don't treat me like a child. That being said, please buy all my food, clean up after me, and make me whatever food I want while I watch Netflix, because I'm your special boy."

But on the other hand, the rule limiting internet use struck many users as infantilizing and counter-productive to the father's stated goals.

Most thought the majority of the man's rules were more than reasonable, but that one consistently stuck out as being more petty than helpful.

In the words of one user, "But then you turn around and give him rule C, putting him on the same WiFi restrictions as his little sister. That says 'you’re a kid in our eyes and we’ll treat you as such.' Do you see how the messages of those kind of contradict each other?"

So while they ultimately didn't think the father was in the wrong, they figured that rule could use some revision if the father wants a productive solution here.

h/t: Reddit | ChrisThrow367

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