Dad Feels Conflicted After Mother's Strong Reaction To His Gender Disappointment

Updated September 8, 2021

A pregnancy can be a time of great anxiety, but it's also something that can make new parents very excited for the future.

And in that excitement, it's not uncommon to start dreaming about what life with a new baby will be like. But while there are many ways that real parenthood doesn't quite live up to that fantasy, some parents can report facing that reality as soon as the child is born.

Because if they built up this image of having a boy or a girl in their heads, they may find themselves feeling some disappointment when their baby doesn't match that image.

And while this gender disappointment can potentially crop up with any pregnancy, one story illustrates how common it can be when you already have multiple kids of the same gender.

To preface his story, the dad we're about to hear from made it clear that his three daughters are "the joys of my life and the reasons for my happiness."

Getty Images | Westend61

But as he explained in a Reddit post, he was looking forward to having a boy this time because he figured that raising one would be a different experience for him.

So while he didn't say anything to indicate this when his fourth daughter was born, his wife noticed that his face seemed sad at this news.

Although his wife wasn't angry at seeing this because she wanted a boy at certain points during the pregnancy as well, she checked in with him about it a few days later.

CBS via YouTube

As the man wrote, "My wife and I have known each other since we were ten so I guess she can tell my facial expressions."

In response, he reassured her that while he felt that way at first, it passed quickly once he held their new daughter and he no longer cares that she's not a boy.

It's also worth noting that the wife is very close to this man's mother and apparently mentioned his initial reaction to her.

Getty Images | Hybrid Images

We don't know the context of that conversation, but it's nonetheless where the man's recent troubles began.

As he described the situation when his mom spoke to him about this, "She was disappointed in me for thinking that way and that it’s because of this mentality that men act misogynist."

If that reaction seems like it comes out of nowhere, it's worth noting that the man's father was reputedly sexist and abusive to his wife and children so she may have been worried about some inherited traits.

Nonetheless, the verdict from Reddit was that the man's concerns of being more misogynistic than he realized were not well-founded.

While one user understood where these concerns were coming from because there is no shortage of people in the world who genuinely prioritize sons over daughters, they didn't see that happening in this case.

As they put it, "From how you come across here, I think you probably would have had the same feeling if after 3 boys you had another boy. I think it's entirely normal to want (and expect) a mix if you've got 4."

And while some users believed that the wife shouldn't have told the mother about his immediate reaction, they also admitted that they didn't know how the matter came up.

Ultimately, people tended to agree that the man couldn't help how he felt in the moment and it doesn't seem like an ongoing problem so there's no need to worry.

h/t: Reddit | throwaway168900

Filed Under:

People & Society