Tweets From Mothers That Perfectly Sum Up Parenting

This is kind of like that mom who hid snacks in the dishwasher.

At the end of the day, a parent's gotta do what they have to do to protect their snacks, whether that means hiding them in vegetable bags or not.

"Some days you feel like you could easily win a parenting trophy. Other days you find yourself having to answer question like 'do octopuses have nipples?' before you’ve had adequate caffeine," Twitter user @mommymemeoirs wrote.

After they've asked us to listen to their gibberish for the millionth time in a row, parents learn to tune out. Men also seem to possess this special skill...

"Unless you are prepared for someone to yell 'MOMMY, I HAVE A TAIL!' and then show you a sock wedged between their little buttcheeks, you are not ready for motherhood. Heed my warning," wrote this Twitter user.

Amen, sista! We can only imagine how many people were feeling pissed off and a little guilty at this tweet until they got to the end. Then, they knew they could relate.

"I always thought I’d be a patient mom, but I don’t like who I become 30 seconds into my son’s guided tour of his Minecraft village," wrote Twitter user @six_pack_mom.

One of those suckers on the bottom of the foot would take anyone out!

It's basically the pain of stabbing your toe x10000000 and yet, it's so fun to build. Even parents play with it themselves these days!

There was a TikTok trend going on a while ago about husbands getting stuck with their wives ' mini-mes.

This meant that their daughters were exactly like mom, including refusing to talk until they're awake.

If you're ever in a good mood and need someone to tear down your self-esteem brick by brick, have kids!

They are no stranger to saying exactly what's on their minds, even if it comes at the cost of others.

"My 4YO fell off his scooter, and before I could help him, he stood up, dusted off, and whispered to himself, 'shake it off big dawg.' I’ve never been more confused about whether something was a parenting win or fail," wrote this mom.

How come we haven't thought of this?!

It's a brilliant hack that guarantees you can binge-watch Vanderpump Rules or go to sleep earlier while hubbie puts on a performance for the kids.

"My daughter is crying because her sister farted and I sprayed air freshener before she had a chance to sniff it. I’m raising savages," wrote this Twitter user, @sarabellab123. Can you relate?!

This was a brilliant parenting hack during the 2020 coronavirus pandemic. With hair salons closed, kids were forced to visit the Mom Salon. So act bad and you'll be getting another buzz cut!

"Have you ever stared at the clouds and picked shapes or pictures out of them? Well, my 4yo does that with her turds," wrote this worried mother. We cringe to think of the shapes she's made.

Hahahah, absolutely hilarious. Of course, picking a Netflix movie or show to watch would take five hours after that. But if the kids are glued to the TV and out of trouble, that's all that matters!

"At my daughter’s 4-year checkup, the doctor said she should be eating a varied diet and to make sure she’s eating a good amount from each food group and I think she said a bit about trying new foods but not sure cause I got distracted wondering if she’d ever actually met a 4yo," this mom wrote.

This, right here, is proof of why moms can't risk turning their back to the kids for more than five minutes.

Doing so means that kids do stuff like open up a tattoo shop. Hey, at least the kid's entrepreneurial!

We've all heard the quote, but where does this magical village exist?! We're sure it's filled with Netflix for the kids and dads ready to tell the bedtime stories!

"A surprising amount of parenting is bribing your kids with things you don’t want to do, then breathing a sigh of relief when they mess it up so you don’t have to deliver," tweeted this mom.