Losing a partner is an extremely hard thing to experience, and for any loved one it isn't strange to want to keep pieces of them around as a reminder of their impact on your life.
When one man met someone new years after his wife's passing, he ran into an issue with her mother, who didn't appreciate him keeping items belonging to his dead wife around the house.
It starts with the author stating that this is very sensitive for him to speak about, but he needs advice. "This is all quite new and raw, but I don't have enough people in my real life I feel comfortable speaking to about this so I hope strangers can help."
He begins by introducing Lorna, his wife of six years who passed away suddenly about five years ago. They had a daughter together named Harriet, who the author explains is the only thing that kept him going after Lorna's passing, as it had "destroyed" him.
He said he honestly thought he could never be with anyone again, but that was until he met Jess, who he's been dating for the past two years now.
He explains that he keeps some keepsakes of Lorna's around the house, namely some paintings she had done on the wall and some clothes that Harriet keeps. He also says that he has Lorna's favorite nightie stored away in a box. This is where the problem arises.
"Jess has always told me very clearly that she's fine with all of this. Her mother...less so."
"She's 'accidentally' knocked photos face down on a number of occasions and Harriet has noted items of clothing missing from the laundry whenever Jill has done it (note: they have always turned back up stuffed into the back of a random drawer or something). [...] I caught her trying to take down Lorna's art to replace it with some generic canvas prints she bought at a home decor shop because they 'fit the room better'. I told her no, and she begrudgingly left it."
When Harriet returned home, she told her father that Jill had replaced Lorna's paintings again, and he said he'd speak to her about it when he returned home.
When that conversation happened and he told Jill to put Lorna's paintings back up, Jill informed him that they were probably gone by now as she'd put them on the curb to be taken with the garbage. He also noticed that a new bundle of cleaning rags in the laundry room were made out of Lorna's nightie, now cut into pieces.
"I'll admit I swore and called her some names I probably shouldn't have, but I've never been madder in my life. Jess tried to intervene, but mostly sided with her mother, saying she had good intentions and Harriet and I's best interests in mind and that I was overreacting. I told her to get her mother off my property and that I didn't give a [expletive] where she went or if she had anywhere else to go. Jess called me cruel and they left to go to a hotel."
Many of the comments were shocked at the cruelty of Jill's actions.
"Forreal, even if it was 'for the best intentions' she could’ve thrown the nightie with the paintings. But she didn’t. [She tossed] the paintings and replaced em with trash ones [and] cut up the onesie to use as cleaning rags. That’s straight up evil," explained one comment.
Another agreed, "They went over the line and the fact that they proceeded to defend their behavior is even worse. I’d kick them both out permanently and move on with my life."
"Unfortunately Jess would have had opportunity to nip this in the bud multiple times and salvage these items from being destroyed. She either agrees with her mother or was happy to see it happen ‘for the greater good'," writes one insightful comment. They also make the point of these two not being healthy for Harriet to be around as she could also be a reminder of Lorna in their eyes.
"In my humble opinion, this is unforgivable. No one gets to tell someone else how to, and how long to, grieve for."
What do you think? How would you advise this person? Let us know in the comments!
